How I killed my impulse shopping habit

A remarkable thing has happened to me the last few months: after five years of impulse shopping, spending hundreds of dollars and hours at the mall or in online stores every month, I finally broke myself of the habit.

When I say I shopped, I mean I really shopped. I thought nothing of going up to the outlet mall for the day, one weekend a month, and coming home with multiple bags. I had a routine online, where I would hit 3-4 of my favorite stores, fill up the shopping carts, then as the best sale email popped up for each I would hit Checkout. Of course, I also ended up returning a lot, but that just gave me another excuse to go to the store.

Even if I wasn't buying, I was always shopping.

I could give you tons of excuses for it -- I had significant weight losses and gains, I discovered fashion very late in life, I got wrapped up in following and being a fashion blogger and trying to keep my closet fresh -- but all of those are just excuses. The truth is I liked having new clothes, and lots of them.

Killing that habit has been a 4-step process.

1. I read Overdressed: the Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion. My reader Roberta recommended it months ago, and I have been recommending it to all my fashion-minded friends both on and offline ever since. The book does a tremendous job detailing the impact our shopping habits have had on our style, our economy, our charities, the international economy, the workers, and then environment. The chapter on what really happens to most of the clothes we donate was enough for me to re-evaluate what the hell I was doing.



2. I cleaned out my closet. And by closet I mean I cleaned out everything, right down to every obscure corner where I was essentially "hiding" clothes: in drawers, on hangers, under the bed, in bureaus in the hall, in closets in the office, in many, many places in the basement. I had an unnecessary amount of clothes, so much so it was preventing my ability to SEE what I had. I have always used my outfits as a creative outlet, mixing together colors, patterns and just the right accessories to finish it off. Now I can do that much more easily because everything is right in front of me every day, and I don't feel like I am "missing" things for outfits...which of course means I don't need to shop as much.




3. I began tracking my purchases and edits on a monthly basis. I did one final massive drop-off at the donation center when I cleaned out my closet, but that is the last time I intend to do that. The quantity of what I gave away was ridiculous, and not in a good way. That said, things do need to get culled regularly, and it's equally important that I track my purchases. It helps me see my buying patterns, and more than that it helps me see when I am buying things that don't make it more than a month or two. I already have a few items I bought in September and October that I want to get rid of already; I need to get smarter about that.

Once those pieces were in place, that solved many of the utilitarian, practical problems that impulse shopping had created. But what the first three steps didn't give me was the excitement and fun that I got with new clothes: that first thrill of trying on a new piece and see how it flatters me, the creative buzz as I figure out what I can pair it with in new outfits, the compliments I got from other fashion-minded friends.

That only came with the last step of the process.



4. I joined Gwynnie Bee. I've talked about my love for this company many times in the past, but they've earned it. I love everything about them: the website is easy to navigate, the photos of the clothes are flattering and often show the same item on different models so you can see differences in fit and drape on various body types, and adding items to your "closet" is a snap. They've improved their shipping times since I started in September, and will be improving them again once they move to a new distribution center. But for now you can indicate on the website when you are shipping something back, and they will send your next piece out sooner.

Best of all, I get all of the fun of new purchases without having to buy anything. The white box arrives every couple of days, and inside is a lovely piece gently folded and wrapped in tissue. Sometimes I don't check the website before so it's a surprise when I open the box, other times I take a peek so I can start planning how I will fit it into my closet before it gets here. Once I've tried it on and determined it is the right size (which I am getting better at ordering now that I am more familiar with some of their brands) the creativity starts as I dream up new outfits for it. And if the item didn't fit, I fold it immediately into the return bag, go to the website that evening to note I am shipping it back and wave it goodbye, just like I would do with any returns from my impulse shopping days.

Some of the pieces I have gotten lately (more are here):



(My hair was still soaking wet so I just did a quick half self-portrait.) This Rafaella long sweater was unexpected and fun; the cowl was a knit weave, but the sweater was more like a terry sweatshirt. It felt great and perfect for a chilly winter day.



This Edista top is still one of my favorites, ever.





Like I said, I didn't a good picture of myself in this Eloquii sequin jacket, but it was a really flattering fit and good quality.





This Karen Kane orange drape neck top proved to add a nice punch of color to a couple of business meeting outfits.





This brown animal print jacket is hard to photograph so you can see all the detailing, but it has great quilted ruching on the side so it is not nearly as boxy as the top photo suggests. I really liked the orange with it; the brown and black have a dusty, muted tone to them so it's difficult to find the right blouse for the jacket.



I got in one more wear of the orange top in a casual outfit, with a long chunky grey sweater, silver circle pendant from LOFT Outlet, faded Kut from the Kloth boyfriend jeans, and my faux-moto Clarks boots.



I showed off this JonesNY snakeprint cardigan in my Color Project: White post, but it also got a few more wears with other colors for some work outfits too.



The all-black palette brought out more of the baseball jacket look of the sweater, I thought. And hey Mom -- that's the badge pendant necklace from Brighton that you got for me! :)



Last outfit was with my own red Lane Bryant drape top -- which you will see again as part of the Color Project: Red round-up. :)

Gwynnie Bee approached me last week to become an affiliate, and I very happily said yes. Long-time blog readers will know that I don't really do blog sponsorships; I get email inquiries occasionally asking me to review products, but nothing has ever interested me the way Gwynnie Bee has. So I guess this is my first official blog entry that will need a disclaimer!

If you are interested in signing up for Gwynnie Bee, click this link to join. Joining is free -- it lets you look around the site and view some of the clothes they offer. If you decide to subscribe to the 1, 2, or 3 plan, they are currently offering a 30-day free trial, and after that they will charge your credit card for whichever monthly rate you choose. Here comes the disclaimer part: as an affiliate, I will get a free month myself if you follow the link to join and end up as a paying subscriber.

I am going to be blunt here: if you are a plus-sized woman who likes clothes, you are foolish not to try this out. I've been a big girl all my adult life, and I have never, EVER had a site where I could see -- and more importantly, get to feel and wear -- so many different brands and styles together in one place. It's like a whole mall, just for us!

They have TONS of dressy outfits too; my plan when I have a nice party to go to is to rearrange the closet and hold sections so I will get sent a good assortment of dresses and sparkly tops and jackets to try and to borrow for the occasion. I can't even think of another site where that is possible for someone my size.

When I eventually start to lose weight again, I suspect they are going to be a godsend for that as well; I will just order smaller sizes as I move down the scale, thus rotating through a new wardrobe without having to buy a whole new wardrobe.

Most of all,  Gwynnie Bee makes me feel PRETTY, and WELCOMED, and VALUED, as a woman and as a customer. I never feel left out because I want to wear something that isn't offered in my size (thanks a lot, Banana and Gap), I don't feel pushed aside and sent to the Misses section behind the luggage on a different floor than everyone else (hello, Macys) and the online photos they choose are pretty and flattering and don't make their models look like squat dwarves in highwaters (that's you, Nordstrom). I do shop at all the stores I just complained about, of course, but it's always while feeling like a little bit *less* than their preferred customer. Gwynnie Bee never makes me feel like that.

Seriously, give them a try. They were definitely the final piece I needed in place to kill my impulse shopping habit. :)

Now, don't get me wrong: I still love shopping! In fact, my next post will be about Stuff I Want. But the need to do it as often as I used to, or at the same volume of purchases, that's dead and gone. I don't miss it.

If only it were this easy to give up some of my other bad habits! :)

Sunday Cooking: Mish-mosh

Yes, it's Thursday. Do not adjust your monitors. :)

It's been a rough week, and while I didn't think I did much in the way of cooking, somehow we've stretched it through the week so I figured I should post about it.

Also, I managed to take a few photos of outfits (GASP), and I bought new sandals. Yay, summer!



Lunch has consisted of all my favorite foods of the moment, cutely packaged up in little portion-controlled containers.

There was another batch of spaghetti squash au gratin



(and one of cauliflower au gratin for Hubby)



and a black-eyed pea and cucumber salad. (A recipe I make at some point every summer.)



Wasn't completely in love with how this turned out this time. I used a bag of frozen peas and boiled them, but they were really mushy in a way that fresh or canned peas do not get. Plus I didn't have enough feta, and I omitted olives for Hubby, so it was missing a good dose of salt it needed to give it enough flavor. Hubby liked it though!

Lastly, there have been lots and lots of strawberries. Sometimes with yogurt at lunch, sometimes with a slice of angel food cake as dessert at night.



I didn't get any pictures last night, but Hubby grilled a couple of frozen crab cakes for me (he had a burger) and a pineapple cut into long strips. Warm, carmelized pineapple was an excellent side dish, then I finished off the meal by cutting the rest of it up and piling it into a bowl with cool strawberries and soft angel food cake. No pun intended, but it was heavenly.

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It's been hot this week, and both Hubby and I have been stressed about work so there are nightly chats on the patio under the umbrella while he grills our dinner. George likes to come out and join us. I think he really likes the feel of the warm cement under him.





He is such a weirdo. :)

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My hair is much longer this summer, and I am rather enjoying it. My new stylist gave me a long bob; a lot of the time I have been letting it naturally curl up at the edges instead of forcing it to curl under with a brush and blow dryer, and it just feels healthier and more energized.



This is definitely the summer of draping blouses, although some work better than others. I love the vibrancy of the the hot pink of this Old Navy blouse, as well as the drape at my shoulders. It buckles weirdly at my waist, though, which doesn't photograph well. Oh well! My chunky smoky quartz statement necklace and a gold bracelet add the right amount of dressiness for super-hot weather.



Another variation on the same sandals and black pants look, this time with a coral faux-wrap sweater from Forth & Towne (boy, I still miss that store), white tank and tri-stone necklace. The wind was blowing every which way that morning, so this is the best shot I got.



Sheila has been doing neutrals month over at Ephemera, which inspired this combo that I have been wearing like crazy. Target short-sleeved cardigan and this darling tie tank from Lands End -- that's the whole outfit. I am having a pair of white modern Gap bootcut pants hemmed right now (my first white pants maybe ever!) and I am really curious to see if I can wear this top combo with that too.

Funny, I just realized I have been wearing the same Clarks olive wedge sandals in all 3 shots. I have been rotating through my other ones, I swear! The flat sandal craze has been intriguing me, too; most of mine are heeled wedges in various colors (turquoise, orange, nude, olive, etc) which are great for work. But I wanted some for play, too. Behold!



I know, right?!

The Sam Edelman Gigi's are one of the sandals of the season, and come in a million colors. I debated going for the mixed-print pair, but in the end I could not resist the stripes.

The other pair I got were the DV by Dolce Vita Archer's, another hot sandal of the season. I needed a blue casual pair to go with my maxidress for our summer vacation, and I couldn't resist these when I saw them on Corporette.

The last new shoes I am getting are a pair of summer walking shoes, for exercise. (Yes, I said it.) How can anyone say "no" to walking if they have these adorable New Balance Classics in their closet? On sale for $49, too!

(I am exchanging the 9s for a 9 1/2, but overall they look and feel great.)

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So, food, outfits, random cat photo, shoes. I think I covered all the necessary topics! Am I forgiven for skipping a few days/weeks of posts? :)

Don't Poke The Bear

I cannot believe it is only March 20. First, it feels like a hundred years have passed since my birthday...which was a week ago. Second, it is more gloriously warm and sunny than it is in June. I am in a horrible mood, but I can't deny how great it is outside.

I'm trying to wear more spring in my outfits without really buying anything new or trendy (you will never catch me in floral ankle pants, in case you were wondering). Since it is so legitimately nice out, all of my sandals from last year are already out and in rotation. So glad I got a good set of them that are still in excellent shape. The orange, the turquoise, the olive -- all are being happily worn. The olive peeptoe booties do a good job of lightening up an otherwise dark black-pants outfit. (The melon cardigan and gold jewelry helps too.)



Then on Friday I took the bears out of hibernation. Shaved 'em and everything!



Wearing nude microfishnet stockings, which are almost the same as wearing no hose at all. A cute dress and a long-lost purple cardigan, some embellished flats and I was good to go!

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In other news, my co-workers talked me into doing a team challenge to lose weight and exercise more. We weigh in and get measured tomorrow, then it starts for 8 weeks next Monday. The challenge is about scoring points, depending on how much exercise you do and how much weight and body fat you lose over the time period. I was all for it -- I could use a good structured kick in the pants -- but then today when we were going over the rules in detail, I got really panicked and now I am dreading it.

I didn't catch before today that you have to do a minimum of 1440 minutes of exercise -- which is 25 minutes a day, seven days a week (or 36 minutes, 5 days a week). Do you know how much I do right now? NONE.

I know, I know, deep in my gut I know that I need to move more, and I was looking forward to this challenge to get that going. But I was expecting to have to do a half-hour 3-4 days a week. I was thinking I could ease myself into it, and then maybe by the end of the challenge add more than that. I was NOT expecting to have to start right off the bat at a sprint. I can't even really miss a day, or I will fall behind, and skip more days, and fall more behind. And then let all my teammates down (there are some nice monetary prizes for competing and winning, and several of them really want to win.)

I am just so...pissed off about the whole thing. I feel like I am doomed to fail before I even start, and the pressure is pissing me off even more. Everyone else was talking about how they already work out 2 hours already a week, and so adding another hour wouldn't be so hard. I wanted to cry.

It feels impossible to me. I can't even get up the stairs without my knee giving out. Which I know should be even more incentive to exercise, but it's not. All I can think about is even if I just do 30 minutes of walking every day, how much every inch of my body is going to hurt, and how little rest I will have before having to do it again the next day, and how I am working 10-12 hours a day and am stressed beyond belief and am barely hanging onto eating right by my fingertips. When the hell am I supposed to even find the time for this? I was just thinking that I needed to start going into work earlier because so much is piling up. I never leave before 6pm, and I am in bed early too. But no, now I need to find a free hour somewhere every day. And my f***ing running shoes. Which probably don't fit. (Can you hear me cursing? I am cursing a blue streak!)

This doesn't feel like something that is motivating me to keep improving myself; it feels like just one more expectation that I can't meet that is crushing my lungs so I can't breathe.

I have 6 more days to get myself into the right headspace for it. Great. First I have to get over being so pissed. Why didn't I read it more closely before I agreed? Damn.

Sigh.

So that's what I'll be working on this week. My f***ing negative attitude.

Spring Shopping

You guys, spring fever has hit my closet and wallet. After a quiet couple of months, I am in a shopping MOOD! Maybe it's all the bright colors grabbing my attention like shiny paper to a distracted puppy, but everything just looks so good right now. It's probably a good thing I can't shop in all the regular stores; I would not be able to show any restraint.

Here are a couple of new things I am hoping to be wearing this season:

Vince Camuto color blocked dress, Nordstrom
This one is on order. I am praying it looks good; I spotted it a few weeks ago in regular sizes, and was instantly in love. It's rare that they make a popular item in plus sizes too, so when I saw they did for this one, I snapped it up.

KORS Michael Kors Ghita nude pump, Nordstrom
I have been looking for the perfect nude pump for over a year, but none of them have worked. Wrong nude, uncomfortable, heel too high, looked too cheap, too platform-y and trendy, yadda yadda yadda. I tried these on at Nordstroms on Sunday, and declared the search over. The vamp is perfect for my arch, the color, heel and style are timeless, and most of all they are going to be perfect for all my dresses. This is the first time I've ever bought a Salon shoe from Nordstrom. I hope it is going to be money well spent.

True straight pants in mochaccino, Gap
These I am still a little on the fence on; I need lighter-colored pants for spring and summer, but these might be a little too khaki-ish. I love that straight-leg style though...I will try them with a few outfits in my mirror first, then take them to be hemmed and hope for the best. They will look great with the shoes below!

Franco Sarto Year Wedge in red patent, Nordstrom
Oh, Franco. I love you.
I haven't loved his styles in the last year but this one was lovely and springy. I've been looking for a pair of red patent shoes for a while to no avail, but like the Michael Kors as soon as I put these on I knew I had found my shoes. So unbelievably comfortable; it felt like I had owned them for years.

I have a couple of other items on my Wish List too:

Sam Edelman Beatrix flat, Nordstrom
I need to replace my embellished cheetah print SE flats this spring, and I love the chunky embellished look of these. But they're really pricey, especially for flats. If I find a better substitute I will get those instead.

Kenneth Cole New York mixed snakeprint skirt, Nordstrom
The mixed prints of this are TO DIE FOR. I need this for spring so bad. Nordstrom doesn't actually have the best collection of Encore skirts, so whenever they do have an interesting one, I always check it out. My only concern is that it isn't long enough, but I won't know until I try it!

Those are the base pieces. My red trench will come in handy as it's very on-trend this colorful spring! I'll be looking for tops and blouses at other stores; Nordstrom Encore just doesn't have the greatest selection for those. Everything is too shapeless for my preferences.

But Target has some cute ones!

Merona Woman Sleeveless Fashion Knit Top, Target
Love the orange and cream, and that asymmetrical neckline and side bow is just different enough without being overkill.

Merona Woman Easy Care Easy Wear Cowl Neck Tank, Target
You know I love a good teal! This will be great with the Gap tan pants and new red shoes, yes?

Merona Woman Cowl Neck Top, Target
These appear to only be in stores. I love that the neckline is high; perfect for work!


What do you have your eye on this spring?

Nordstrom Giveth and Nordstrom Taketh Away

A ball gown update is coming soon (the ball itself is Saturday night, eeee!) but I wanted to talk about some of the other hits and misses I have found at Nordstrom.

First off, the BP shoes and the gold-and-black Tasha hardcase evening bag are total perfection, and are what I am wearing with my dress to the ball. So, so lovely. Even Hubby gave the thumbs-up to both.

BUT. Can we talk about their plus-size department? It's so hit-or-miss. I don't get it.

HIT: Foxcroft no-iron three-quarter-sleeve button-down shirt

Who doesn't love a crisp white button-down for spring? I used to love the ones from Forth & Towne. These are an excellent replacement, but even better they are no-iron. It comes in several other colors (YELLOW!!!!) and is more fitted than it looks on the model.

HIT (ALTHOUGH YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW IT FROM THE PHOTO):

Jessie was not impressed with this jacket when I grabbed it from the rack. but then I paired it with that crisp white button-down with the collar popped up, and BAM! perfect for spring. The pink is so much pinker in the tweed than in the photo. Jessie then remarked to the saleswoman that it had looked so different on the hanger, and the woman -- an "Encore" shopper herself -- smiled and said, "We are so much better than hangers."

Ma'am, Nordstrom needs to hire you for their Encore marketing department immediately. You are awesome.

Not awesome: the horrendous styling for this jacket in the next picture. Seriously, this photo is enough to make me wait until the jacket goes on sale. No one will buy it when the model looks like this:

MISS. Big, big MISS.

Also a MISS: all the plus-size pants.



Every single one are highwaters. WTF? What about this page is even remotely appealing? Seriously, drawstring pants are the second ones listed? There are another pair of them in turquoise further down the page. They're fricking exercise pants, not dress pants. Thanks, Nordstrom, for making me feel like I should just give up now.

The biggest MISS of them all: Skirts. This is their entire online collection of plus-size skirts.



Were you looking for a cute, colorful skirt for spring? Unless you play tennis (??) or are living on a commune where long khaki cargo skirts are all the rage, don't bother shopping at Nordstrom. Pretty skirts like this Halogen knit seamed skirt in green or pink are not for us Encore ladies.

But all hope is not lost!

NYDJ has a nice, crisp, straight-leg trouser jean. I really want to try these.

Oh, Nordstrom, why do you toy with me like this?