I Hate My Closet, Part 2 (or how I found some better necklines and colors)

In my last post, I bemoaned the limited options for me in plus-size clothing, especially the dreaded fat-girl neckline. (HATE SO MUCH.) My closet was narrowed to black pants, oversized blouses or cascading cardigans, and black sneakers.

I tried to make my peace with it. I really did. I told myself that I was chic for wearing neutrals, that wearing all-black was something millions of women did intentionally, that the colors of the season (blush pink and mint) were unflattering on me anyway.

Then I lost 12 pounds and none of my clothes fit.

Even better, suddenly I could fit into the XXL and XL of the regular stores. I wasn't just limited to the plus-size stores and departments.

The first thing I did was pick up a half-dozen vintage and slub style vee-necks from Old Navy. On sale at 5 bucks a pop, suddenly I had tees to wear at the park. Baby pink, fuschia, teal, peach, striped pinks -- they were bright and fun and perfect for early summer.

Next I tripped over some cute mid-sleeve knit tees at Talbots. I happened to walk through the store after a haircut at the mall a few weeks ago, and sorted through the sale rack. Their regular prices are not in line with the value of the items, in my opinion, but at the sale price I was willing to go for it. The striped top was so adorable I actually wore it out of the store. I grabbed a white boatneck tee in a really soft cotton while I was at it.

(Mine is in a summery-color pattern, blues and pinks and greens.)

Next up I hit Lands End: their knit shorts are my go-to item every summer, and I had the spectrum of sizes that were no good anymore. I got the basic navy, black and brown, of course, and then added white, blue polka-dot and raspberry.

They were having a fantastic sale on their cotton sweaters too, and since the summer has been pretty cool, I snapped a bunch up in blush, purple, coral pink, and a great pink-and-red windowpane pattern. I get so many compliments on that one! Their sweaters are great because they keep their shape and often look sharper than a blazer.

My Kut from the Kloth boyfriend jeans from Nordstrom also made a return appearance, in both the larger and smaller sizes. Thanks to a slew of gift cards and Nordstrom notes, I also just added these in white to my collection too. They'll arrive next week.

Last was a surprise trip back to Old Navy, thanks to a tip from Corporette. There was a great boatneck stretch-cotton top with elbow-length sleeves that just work fantastic as work tops, under jackets or as stand-alones. I got it in black, hot pink, and cream-and-pink stripe.

Such a great relief after all those months of fat-girl neckline!

After all that, I didn't hate my closet anymore. There are fun colors and pieces for casual, and plenty for work too. There's a lot of pink, which is one of my favorite colors and has been missing from my closet for too long. I feel excited when I open up my closet to get ready for work; I've missed that too!

Plus Goodwill got a few bags of clothes, including many of my beloved shoes and sandals. But that's a post for another day. (Spoiler alert: I bought more shoes.) 

It was interesting to shop in a big burst instead of the steady stream of shopping I had done in the past. I liked it -- I made my decisions pretty quickly, and then incorporated it into my wardrobe. Because I hadn't even been browsing sites, everything looked fresh to me -- but I didn't get overwhelmed by choices. I knew the colors and shapes I wanted, and I found them pretty easily. 

Speaking of quick, decisive shopping, I needed a dress to wear for a night downtown yesterday -- we were celebrating a friend's birthday and my cousin's first trip to Chicago, so we did a nice dinner at an Italian tapas place, and then we watched a fireworks display on a night cruise out on Lake Michigan. I stopped at Target for some other groceries, and found the cutest sleeveless striped fit-and-flare dress (with pockets!) on the clearance rack. $19 bucks later, I had a new dress!

P.S. We had a fabulous time watching the fireworks. If you are ever in Chicago on a Saturday night in the summer, I highly recommend you go. It's magical.

Everything on is new within the last six months: Lands End purple cardigan, blue floral necklace from J Crew Outlet, black-patterned canvas wristlet from LOFT, tangerine Fitbit. :)

P.P.S I got a new hat too!

I Hate My Closet, Part 1

You guys. Have you ever gotten to the point where you despise every piece of clothing in your closet?

I thought so. I am there right now.

This has been a long journey to get here; long-time readers of LFD remember the days when I was quite the shopper, finding deals and great new pieces on a regular basis. Then my weight went up, and up, and up, and up, and my interest in staying current in fashion went down, and down, and down, and down.

It wasn't just the weight gain that killed my interest in shopping and fashion. Another part of it was that I started to realize I had a full closet -- too much closet, really -- and I didn't NEED to buy anymore. If fact, I need to pare it down to the essentials so I could see what I really had. I donated boxes and boxes of clothes, and pretty much stopped buying new clothes. Gwynnie Bee has done an excellent job of keeping my closet fresh and my need for new items fulfilled.

But the last part, the biggest part, was the limited options available for plus-size mature adults with careers in conservative/traditional offices. I've complained before about "fat-girl" necklines, right? It drives me CRAZY -- it is SO HARD to find v-neck or boatneck or collared tops in plus-sizes. All the interesting shaped or print blouses always have this extra-wide round neckline that both goes too deep/wide and shows off too much skin at the chest, and weirdly sits too far back on the neck and shows off a lot of shoulder/back. Fat-girl neck leaves a huge circle of skin showing, and it does not look professional at all. Additionally, usually it is also a loose blouse so it shifts around if you have to, say, wear a name badge clipped to your neckline, or carry a purse on your shoulder. I am forever triple-checking to make sure my bra strap isn't showing (and it often is, dammit).

Examples of fat-girl necklines:

See what I mean? That's not a vee or a scoop or even a boatneck neckline. It's just...there.

My joke whenever I see a fat-girl neckline: "Hey, my HEAD is a normal size. I don't need extra room to get the shirt over it."

The other problem is that finding a fitted top is nearly impossible. I look at the other plus-size women where I work, and we all have the same uniform: billowy blouse that ends past our hips, thus hiding any type of curve or shape we might have, and making us look bigger than we are. Or worse, the dreaded cascading cardigan which pretty much does the same thing. Everything is draped around us, like tenting on a wedding table. Like so:

You wouldn't know cascading/boyfriend cardigans went out of vogue a few seasons ago from looking at any plus-size department. It's all about hiding our shape -- which is actually MORE unflattering than wearing something too tight, in my opinion.

On the internet, if you want plus-size fitted, the only option I see are dresses. Gwynnie Bee has a weekly Members Post of their clients in mostly dresses, and it is all the same va-va-va-voom look; the girls all look lovely and shapely, but they are ALL in their 20s/30s, and none of it would be appropriate for a conservative office. On a personal note, dresses are no longer an option for me since my feet require orthopedic shoes now. I'm still struggling to find a pair I can wear with dresses -- heck, I still need a dressy pair to go with slacks. (That's another post for another day.)

So. I've been trapped in fashion-less hell -- black slacks, black sneakers (kill me now), billowy top or a long cardigan to hide under. On the most depressing days, it is the ubiquitous black cascading cardigan along with the black pants and shoes. I can't tell you how many plus-sized co-workers I have who wear the same thing -- and in some cases it's the same black cascading cardigan every single day. At my peak, I owned three myself.

And I get why; it's not about low self-esteem or not feeling like you are worth spending money on. I have spent a damn lot of money, and a damned lot of time shopping online and in person. But finding flattering, work-appropriate clothes in a size higher than XXL is a Herculean task, and after a while, you just get too discouraged to keep trying. So you stick with your limited choices, and you focus on other things.

Things I did while not giving a crap about my outfits:
-Enjoyed the freedom in the morning from having to try on multiple outfits, and spent it cuddling with my puppy instead.
-Replenished my makeup supply, and finally learned how to use primer and tinted moisturizer to even out my skin tone.
-Spent 6 months in physical therapy healing my fallen arches, and learned to love my sneakers.
-Played a lot of internet games. A LOT.
-Had occasional flashes of Fun Clothes when a good piece from Gwynnie Bee arrived. But most of their stuff has been filler for under the cardigan, which was okay by me.


Eventually, though, all that black was just too much, and it was time to do something about it. But that's for Part 2. ;-D

Random December outfits

A few random outfits I have been wearing lately:



Grey on grey on grey on black. I am crazy about all the draped necklines around these days; this one is a heathered grey sleeveless one from Target that has worked well under many of my blazers. The drape at the waist is a problem, though. I put this grey mix together because I wanted to wear my grey pinstriped pants but there is something about the hue that makes it hard to fit with my more brightly-colored tops. So I went with neutrals instead. The jacket is a knit Alice + Olivia that I got during the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale; for a while there I had my doubts it would get much wear but I've been putting an effort into finding the right use for it, and it's worked well. 



More neutrals of the navy and brown school.  The grandpa cardigan is a little too grandpa-y here, but I decided to give it some structure by tucking in my Gap navy-and-brown striped top and adding a brown belt. Now that I look at it, a stronger gold necklace would have worked better instead the delicate long one I wore.



Casual Friday with a mustard v-neck shirt from Nordstrom, my beloved striped Lands End blazer, the Gap trouser jeans, and rose gold Tahari flats from DSW.

We went to Detroit this weekend (photos coming tomorrow!) and I somehow only managed to get one outfit photo. Which is a bummer, because I did finally break down and bought some new clothes from Lane Bryant, all of which I wore -- and that went together perfectly -- all weekend. I was so excited about my weekend packing, and I have no visual evidence to show it off. Doh!



This was Friday night; we stayed at the MGM Grand casino, so we spent the night "in" and downstairs gambling and hanging out. The long cardigan and black top are new from Lane Bryant, the jeans are those Jag jeans that I am still on the fence about (they did not fare well by the end of the weekend, waaaaaay too stretched out) and my sparkly Vince Camute suede flats. I am in love with the weight, fabric and stripe size on that cardigan; it is going into heavy rotation this winter, I can tell you now. Probably going to wear it today!



The purse is from a consignment store from a couple of years ago; it's a faux Chanel that I paid about $15 for. I love the idea of it, but I have only used 2-3 times. This is the last one; the "leather" in the strap is completely shredding and left little red pieces everywhere. It's in the bag for donation now!



This is yesterday's back-to-work outfit: the top is from Gwynnie Bee, and I knew as soon as I saw it on their website I had to wear it with my cobalt blue blazer. On its own, I didn't really love the top; the knit was too static-y and too short for my preferences, but under the jacket? Perfect.



I am so enjoying my Gwynnie Bee experience, I am considering upping my subscription to 3-pieces out a a time. Hmm, maybe for the new year when the shopping itch starts up anew. Right now I think I am doing okay finding things to wear. :)

Windy Weekend

It was a windy, rainy, cool weekend. I'm not gonna lie, I loved it. Bad weather keeps people indoors, so I was able to zip through my errands and weekly shopping with few hassles. Even the post office was a breeze!

It also gave us the excuse to be lazy, to stay in and watch "Up" for the first time (God bless AppleTV and their many closed-captioned options, way more than Netflix). I did stock up on squash at the last farmer's market of the season, but the laziness extended itself into skipping weekly cooking too. It's squash, it will keep! (More to come on that later this week. Gotta save my blog topics up now that I am trying to do them daily again. Heh.)



With the closet re-organization, I am making a concerted effort to wear items that used to be buried in drawers or in the back of the closet. This knit bubble-hem top, with a purple and grey speckled pattern, is an Old Navy impulse purchase that has only gotten a couple of wears and lived underneath my other long-sleeved layering tops in a drawer. Since it is really a centerpiece top and not a layering one (meaning it works as the main part of an outfit, not just underneath a sweater to fill out the arms or neck) I hung it up in the New Closet where it catches my eye as an outfit option. I really liked pairing it with a grey super-soft Target cardigan of the same light hue; it muted the pattern and colors so they looked more sweet instead of zany.

The shoes are a new purchase from Clarks; I have needed a new pair of casual walking shoes for a while, and I really just love the look of those elastic-lace ones from Privo. They're still *sneakers* but they're nicer and more stylish than white running shoes, that's for sure. (Assuming you find ones that aren't frumpy or impractical, which isn't as easy as it should be!) I have a pair in purple from several years ago, but they are kind of wide and often look like duck boots under jeans. These were much better!

Privo "Pursuit Happiness" style. They felt like mine the second I put them on. I didn't take them off all weekend!

Sunday was super-casual; I solved the wind problem by pulling my hair back. And I wasn't kidding about wearing the Privos all weekend!



I wore a color-blocked short-sleeved sweatshirt I picked up at Old Navy and have been enjoying this summer, but with the cool weather I added a cobalt blue long-sleeved layering top under it. Messy and casual, which is what I was going for. :) They're not all fashionista outfits!

See what I meant about the wind?




What did you guys do this weekend?

My weekend in pictures

Things I bought (Saturday):





I KNOW, RIGHT???!!










The red Katie & Kellys from DSW may go back; they're a little tight, and I never put up with that. But the animal print with red bows? You will pry these out of my cold, dead hands. Even my husband thought they were cute, and he hates wedges. Those shoes are thanks to my buddy Fashion for the Economically Challenged, who has been rocking the flats version of them this season. She inspired me to stop at Payless; the flats are long gone, but I've been looking for some different fall shoes before it is cool enough for tights. Wedges, of course! Perfect bridge shoe for this between-season time.

This sweater from Old Navy, but my version is a marled dark blue and isn't available online. Plus another pair of their Dreamer jeans; they were having a buy one get one 75% off sale.

I also got this trench from Target. Oh YES.


Things I Organized (Sunday):






My small purses and clutches are all visible and handy, as are my athletic shoes and flipflops (for manicures in winter). The bags on the left are ones that were hanging behind the bedroom door, but don't get used enough and should be protected and stored. If I don't pull any of them out in a year, they will all be sold or donated. (Some are pretty damned nice; I will probably consign those.)






What is left behind my door: totes are on the left, bags in heaviest rotation on the right.
I discovered that I only a lot of blue bags; I have cobalt, sky blue, turquoise and royal. Hmmm, I might want to rethink that Moroccan blue Cole Haan one...


Things I Donated (Sunday) (no photos):

-20 pairs of women's shoes
-10 pairs of men's shoes (Hubby organized too)
-another box of books that was hidden in the basement
-12 men's shirts
-assorted box of pants, skirts, sweaters and scarves



Things I Cooked (Sunday):







-my grandmother's spaghetti sauce
-turkey meatballs
-"lazy lasagna": whole wheat pasta, sauce, sauteed spinach, and ricotta and parmesan cheese, all tossed together and baked so the flavors settle
-spaghetti squash

Our plan is to stretch these out for the week; I have a quick recipe for meatball soup from Real Simple when we get tired of sauce and pasta/squash. I guess my body must be craving iron and whatever is in tomatoes, because I stocked up on sauce and spinach this week!

Next weekend will be a whole roast chicken and roasted veggies. Lots and lots of them; we love roasted veggies and can easily kill a whole pan in a sitting. but I am determined to have enough left over to make this soup mid-week.




What did you do this weekend?

Large Closet Pride

Okay, I am starting to appreciate this cooler yet still summery weather. It's not fall and it's not face-melting summer, but it's somewhere in between. It requires a little creativity, layering and mixing in pieces that haven't been worn in months. After a summer of dress/sandals/jewelry, I was out of practice in the Art of Layering, but it's starting to come back to me now!
 


This is my navy Target dress, tan Aquatalia perforated boots, Oriblu microfishnet stockings (I always wear those with these boots), burnished gold Hive and Honey bracelets, and this lovely gifted animal print infinity scarf. I guess it was dressy for a Friday, but the whole thing was a little edgy so it felt appropriate for that day than mid-week.

To get myself mentally ready for Layering Season, I spent some time this weekend thinning the herd in my closet. My sister had given back to me a lot of the size-18 clothes I had given her, but I'm not quite fitting into those yet (which galls me more than I can say), so I put them away in a bin for now. (Along with the bins of 16s, 14s, 12s...you get the drill. The part I am looking most forward to is my weight continues to go down is all the shopping in my own basement that I will be doing. There are so many pieces that I really miss!) I re-organized things so the cardigans were back together, the blazers and jackets were ready to go, only the jeans that fit are in the drawer, and even the casual shirts got re-sorted and re-sized so they aren't a jumbled mess anymore.

I know that for many in the fashion blogosphere having a small closet is a point of pride, but I like having a big one. It's not really a debate over quality versus quantity; I have both in my closet, from high-end Coach bags to cheapo LOFT sweaters that barely make it through a wash. And it's not about brand loyalty: Target, Old Navy, and Kohls are my main stores right now, but I cycle through others depending on my size and what their designers are doing. Nordstrom's, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Marshall's, etc: I have plenty of all of these brands in smaller sizes. Gap runs hot and cold because their designers are so inconsistent; they had a good run last year but they are starting to get crappy again. Same with LOFT (their best year was three years ago).

I've even shopped at consignment and thrift stores, but they're not my first choice; all that chaos tends to ping my clutter phobia, and I get overwhelmed and a little grossed out. Consignment stores are usually better, but their prices aren't that much better than buying first-hand on sale, so I rarely see the point.

Let's face it, I just like shopping. :)

But right now, as a larger-sized woman, there aren't a lot of options for me in brick and mortar stores. The stores carry my size online only, or in the case of Target and Old Navy, often have better selection overall online of the good stuff like dresses. So I order from everywhere, and since I have no idea how it will fit or what it feels like, I end up returning a lot. On the plus side, since I am trying these things on in my own bedroom, I get to see immediately if I have things to go with it. If it fits and looks nice, I mix and match on the spot, and if I can't find anything, back it goes.

Large closets are great during Layering Season; having a good variety of scarves, cardigans, jackets, shoes, jewelry, etc means that I almost never repeat outfits even if I have the same basics (dress, pants) underneath. I really get to let my creativity soar, and for me, that's the fun of fashion. It's not about being trendy and having all the newest styles; it's the putting together of an outfit so all pieces work together harmoniously and bring out my assets that gets me excited. That's why I shop, that's why I have a blog. That is fun, to me. :)

I am proud of the closet I have built. I used to feel guilty about it, like buying duplicates of cardigans in different colors was somehow wrong or shameful. Or that I should only buy expensive clothes that last for years, or I would look tacky. But I am not listening to those voices anymore; small closets may work for some people, but not for me. And I am okay with that.

Thursday, Friday: My Scarf Collection

It must be fall; I have worn a scarf 5 out of 6 days this week (including right at this moment). I have a huge, huge, collection of scarves acquired over the years. On Thursday, I wore a little skinny pink one from Forth & Towne (excuse the unflattering photos; only had time for two shots and both ended up stinking. Oh well!)



Paired it with a pale pink tee from Loft, my go-to ON grey vest, and black-and-grey checked pants. Obviously I liked this more in person than in the camera, but I think I need to stick with skinny-leg pants for this vest in the future. It's too chunky for a wider leg.

Friday was one of my most favorite combos in a long while:



(I am teasing George out of frame here.) The fabulous burgundy sweater from Kohls, my favorite Loft polka-dot ruffled top, paired with new skinny ponte pants in a rich chocolate brown color. The brand is Not Your Daughter's Jeans, recommended by Marianna over on YLF. Not a brand I would normally try, but I really love them. They're highwaisted which takes some getting used to, but they have a nice girdling effect without cutting off my oxygen. They were on sale on the Nordstrom website for $49; got them in black and brown for the winter. Love! Since it was Friday I went casual with my brown suede heeled clogs, mmmmmm, yay fall shoes.



Oh, and the scarf! It's a SYC Item, never even been worn until yesterday! A rich teal cotton number I picked up at Ann Taylor Factory about a year ago but I kept waiting for the right moment. It's wide, almost like a sheer shawl, and the fringe was excessively long. Then when I was reading Maria at Color Me Happy's shopping excursion with Angie, the lightbulb went off: I should cut off the fringe and wear it like a real scarf! Doy!



Love the colors together so much.

+++++++

I've had a few inquiries about my scarves. Like I said, I've been collecting them for years; they're the only clothing item that fits no matter what your weight, so I've never really gotten rid of any. Some colors and styles are only for certain seasons, but I keep them all together in my closet. I used to hang them together on wooden hangers and keep the smaller ones in a small drawer, but I finally conceded defeat and consolidated them into one big drawer together in a riot of colors and styles. Picking one out in the morning is a blast.

(These photos are from February. I have a few more now.)









I pick them up everywhere: Kohls and Target, Ann Taylor, gift shops (got one at the zoo once), tiny boutiques, Von Maur, Forth & Towne, you name it. I rarely spend more that $25 on one, but if it's a gorgeous pattern I might. There is not a store that I've been to that I haven't perused the scarf rack; even Zara where nothing fits me had that great red polka-dot scarf I love. Sometimes they have been shawls or scarves bought for special occasions but I end up keeping the scarf forever.

Hope you like them because I tend to wear them a lot when the weather is cool. Like right now! :)