How I killed my impulse shopping habit

A remarkable thing has happened to me the last few months: after five years of impulse shopping, spending hundreds of dollars and hours at the mall or in online stores every month, I finally broke myself of the habit.

When I say I shopped, I mean I really shopped. I thought nothing of going up to the outlet mall for the day, one weekend a month, and coming home with multiple bags. I had a routine online, where I would hit 3-4 of my favorite stores, fill up the shopping carts, then as the best sale email popped up for each I would hit Checkout. Of course, I also ended up returning a lot, but that just gave me another excuse to go to the store.

Even if I wasn't buying, I was always shopping.

I could give you tons of excuses for it -- I had significant weight losses and gains, I discovered fashion very late in life, I got wrapped up in following and being a fashion blogger and trying to keep my closet fresh -- but all of those are just excuses. The truth is I liked having new clothes, and lots of them.

Killing that habit has been a 4-step process.

1. I read Overdressed: the Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion. My reader Roberta recommended it months ago, and I have been recommending it to all my fashion-minded friends both on and offline ever since. The book does a tremendous job detailing the impact our shopping habits have had on our style, our economy, our charities, the international economy, the workers, and then environment. The chapter on what really happens to most of the clothes we donate was enough for me to re-evaluate what the hell I was doing.



2. I cleaned out my closet. And by closet I mean I cleaned out everything, right down to every obscure corner where I was essentially "hiding" clothes: in drawers, on hangers, under the bed, in bureaus in the hall, in closets in the office, in many, many places in the basement. I had an unnecessary amount of clothes, so much so it was preventing my ability to SEE what I had. I have always used my outfits as a creative outlet, mixing together colors, patterns and just the right accessories to finish it off. Now I can do that much more easily because everything is right in front of me every day, and I don't feel like I am "missing" things for outfits...which of course means I don't need to shop as much.




3. I began tracking my purchases and edits on a monthly basis. I did one final massive drop-off at the donation center when I cleaned out my closet, but that is the last time I intend to do that. The quantity of what I gave away was ridiculous, and not in a good way. That said, things do need to get culled regularly, and it's equally important that I track my purchases. It helps me see my buying patterns, and more than that it helps me see when I am buying things that don't make it more than a month or two. I already have a few items I bought in September and October that I want to get rid of already; I need to get smarter about that.

Once those pieces were in place, that solved many of the utilitarian, practical problems that impulse shopping had created. But what the first three steps didn't give me was the excitement and fun that I got with new clothes: that first thrill of trying on a new piece and see how it flatters me, the creative buzz as I figure out what I can pair it with in new outfits, the compliments I got from other fashion-minded friends.

That only came with the last step of the process.



4. I joined Gwynnie Bee. I've talked about my love for this company many times in the past, but they've earned it. I love everything about them: the website is easy to navigate, the photos of the clothes are flattering and often show the same item on different models so you can see differences in fit and drape on various body types, and adding items to your "closet" is a snap. They've improved their shipping times since I started in September, and will be improving them again once they move to a new distribution center. But for now you can indicate on the website when you are shipping something back, and they will send your next piece out sooner.

Best of all, I get all of the fun of new purchases without having to buy anything. The white box arrives every couple of days, and inside is a lovely piece gently folded and wrapped in tissue. Sometimes I don't check the website before so it's a surprise when I open the box, other times I take a peek so I can start planning how I will fit it into my closet before it gets here. Once I've tried it on and determined it is the right size (which I am getting better at ordering now that I am more familiar with some of their brands) the creativity starts as I dream up new outfits for it. And if the item didn't fit, I fold it immediately into the return bag, go to the website that evening to note I am shipping it back and wave it goodbye, just like I would do with any returns from my impulse shopping days.

Some of the pieces I have gotten lately (more are here):



(My hair was still soaking wet so I just did a quick half self-portrait.) This Rafaella long sweater was unexpected and fun; the cowl was a knit weave, but the sweater was more like a terry sweatshirt. It felt great and perfect for a chilly winter day.



This Edista top is still one of my favorites, ever.





Like I said, I didn't a good picture of myself in this Eloquii sequin jacket, but it was a really flattering fit and good quality.





This Karen Kane orange drape neck top proved to add a nice punch of color to a couple of business meeting outfits.





This brown animal print jacket is hard to photograph so you can see all the detailing, but it has great quilted ruching on the side so it is not nearly as boxy as the top photo suggests. I really liked the orange with it; the brown and black have a dusty, muted tone to them so it's difficult to find the right blouse for the jacket.



I got in one more wear of the orange top in a casual outfit, with a long chunky grey sweater, silver circle pendant from LOFT Outlet, faded Kut from the Kloth boyfriend jeans, and my faux-moto Clarks boots.



I showed off this JonesNY snakeprint cardigan in my Color Project: White post, but it also got a few more wears with other colors for some work outfits too.



The all-black palette brought out more of the baseball jacket look of the sweater, I thought. And hey Mom -- that's the badge pendant necklace from Brighton that you got for me! :)



Last outfit was with my own red Lane Bryant drape top -- which you will see again as part of the Color Project: Red round-up. :)

Gwynnie Bee approached me last week to become an affiliate, and I very happily said yes. Long-time blog readers will know that I don't really do blog sponsorships; I get email inquiries occasionally asking me to review products, but nothing has ever interested me the way Gwynnie Bee has. So I guess this is my first official blog entry that will need a disclaimer!

If you are interested in signing up for Gwynnie Bee, click this link to join. Joining is free -- it lets you look around the site and view some of the clothes they offer. If you decide to subscribe to the 1, 2, or 3 plan, they are currently offering a 30-day free trial, and after that they will charge your credit card for whichever monthly rate you choose. Here comes the disclaimer part: as an affiliate, I will get a free month myself if you follow the link to join and end up as a paying subscriber.

I am going to be blunt here: if you are a plus-sized woman who likes clothes, you are foolish not to try this out. I've been a big girl all my adult life, and I have never, EVER had a site where I could see -- and more importantly, get to feel and wear -- so many different brands and styles together in one place. It's like a whole mall, just for us!

They have TONS of dressy outfits too; my plan when I have a nice party to go to is to rearrange the closet and hold sections so I will get sent a good assortment of dresses and sparkly tops and jackets to try and to borrow for the occasion. I can't even think of another site where that is possible for someone my size.

When I eventually start to lose weight again, I suspect they are going to be a godsend for that as well; I will just order smaller sizes as I move down the scale, thus rotating through a new wardrobe without having to buy a whole new wardrobe.

Most of all,  Gwynnie Bee makes me feel PRETTY, and WELCOMED, and VALUED, as a woman and as a customer. I never feel left out because I want to wear something that isn't offered in my size (thanks a lot, Banana and Gap), I don't feel pushed aside and sent to the Misses section behind the luggage on a different floor than everyone else (hello, Macys) and the online photos they choose are pretty and flattering and don't make their models look like squat dwarves in highwaters (that's you, Nordstrom). I do shop at all the stores I just complained about, of course, but it's always while feeling like a little bit *less* than their preferred customer. Gwynnie Bee never makes me feel like that.

Seriously, give them a try. They were definitely the final piece I needed in place to kill my impulse shopping habit. :)

Now, don't get me wrong: I still love shopping! In fact, my next post will be about Stuff I Want. But the need to do it as often as I used to, or at the same volume of purchases, that's dead and gone. I don't miss it.

If only it were this easy to give up some of my other bad habits! :)

November Edits and Purchases

Welcome to the monthly edition of Edits and Purchases, which I kicked off last month.

This month's edits were all grey or black, strangely enough.



This H&M short-sleeved chunky knit long open cardigan has served me well the last few years over the ups and down up the scale, but it's reached the point of being too small and looks odd. I am storing it in my bins downstairs instead of donating it; I don't want it taking up precious real estate in my closet, but I am not quite ready to give it up altogether.



As mentioned earlier in the month, it is time for these grey Gap straight legs/stretch pants to go. They just look like faded black and the thighs are pilling.



I have a terrible compulsion to buy fancy lounge wear that doesn't work with my non-fancy lounging. This is a cotton jacket from Target that looked cute the two times I wore it, then got stuck in the back of my closet with the rest of the other sweatshirts. The problem is I prefer my lounge tops to be oversized and this only works with fitted. Time to go!



This black ruffled Black Market White House long cardigan is a much beloved Christmas present from my mom during our holiday in Vegas a few years ago. Unfortunately it is too small now, but it is still in great shape so it too is going downstairs to the bins.



Another Target impulse mistake. I love everything about this except the fabric; the knit is too clingy so every roll of my belly shows in stark relief. Such a bummer -- the pattern and the neckline was perfect under all my jackets!


That was it for edits this month. Strangely, it was hard not to add more to the pile; it's not that it is necessarily time for other items to go, but I am so used to doing a giant purge all at once that it's counter-instinctive to go slowly and thoughtfully, genuinely evaluating each piece and deciding if I am ever going to wear it again or if it just doesn't fit my closet now. I just want to pull them all out...and then go buy more to fill the "holes". That was the cycle before, and it feels very different this way. Which is a good thing!


But the most remarkable thing this month was the small number of purchases.



I don't think my shopping haul has been this small in one month in years. And it wasn't for lack of trying; I ordered a couple of rounds from Nordstrom, Old Navy and even picked up a few Target impulses. But they all went back -- either they were too cheap, didn't fit right, or I couldn't find anything to coordinate them with in my closet. The lessons from the Overdressed book still rings in my head every time I consider buying new items, for sure!

I did keep another fleece lounge top (see what I mean about my loungewear thing?) for $6 from Old Navy in a different pink, since I adore my other one so much. Now they can rotate through the winter. :) I also bought some pull-up Jag jeans, in two different sizes. Those I debated sending back, and I will probably regret not doing so. They stretch a lot and the pull-up aspect is just weird; with no zipper/waistband digging into me, I constantly feel like they are going to fall off so I keep tugging them up. But they look great and they do feel better than regular jeans, so I decided to keep them and try getting used to their different fit.

My very best purchase was my new Michael Kors bag. I have been using it nearly every day. Love everything about it: the color, the side pockets, the fit under my arm, the weight, the size, all of it.



I am actually really glad I didn't buy much else this month just so I could appreciate and enjoy splurging on it. Who woulda thunk it?

Fashion Flasher

I still haven't gotten back into the rhythm of daily outfit photos, but I have been trying to do a quick partial shot here or there to at least capture the flavor of what I am wearing.  So here are a few flashes of the last week.



One of the prettiest Gwynnie Bee tops, with a tie-dyed pattern draped cowl that I just adored. I wore this a few times before shipping it back, my favorite being when I wore it on Halloween with this cobalt blazer at work and then with a simple black sweater in the evening to highlight the "spookiness" of the pattern when we took Babyfriend out trick-or-treating. This version was with a short-sleeved royal blue sweater, which worked well with our in-between weather.



Not an outfit, I just thought that was a clever carving. :)



I was undecided about this pattern-mixing so I emailed the photo to my girlfriends and my mom. Mom thought it was chic, but my girlfriends were on the fence, not really being fans of pattern-mixing. But I got their replies too late, and I had decided for myself that I liked it so I wore it anyway. And got a surprising number of compliments!



What made it work for me is that they were all in the same color tone, and because that tone was grey, black and white it allowed for a little more creativity. Plus I just love love love that Target blouse with the buttefly pattern and pussybow. It is the one cheap-fashion shirt I do not regret buying whatsoever.

That said, I tried a more subtle outfit with that jacket later in the week.



Keeping the necklace grey kept it nicely subtle; there's a lot going on with the jacket trim and zippers, so it doesn't look as good if I contrast with a colored top.

So all that ruckus over trying to find the perfect bag for fall? (None of the booties worked so they were returned too.) I walked into the new Michael Kors store at my mall last Friday and fell in love with The One.



Medium sized tote, simple and clean, but with just the right details: a lovely chestnut/luggage color in a just-soft-enough leather, contrasting lighter handles, and best of all two side outside pockets where I can slip my phones in and be able to reach them without having to dig under my arm when the bag is on my shoulder.

So far, it is my one purchase for November. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It was already in rotation the next day, and I was ready for the weekend.



The boots and jacket are October purchases. First is a much-needed casual anorak jacket from Old Navy, with a removable lining and is surprisingly well made. Second are a pair of faux-suede nude booties from Target; I had seen them months ago online but since most Target shoes are crazy uncomfortable I resisted. Saw them on clearance in the store last week and gave them a try. They've been worn all day for several days now and are more comfortable than the $200 Munro ones were.

Sometimes cheap fashion is confusing, you guys. Obviously they won't last 4 winters like my Franco Sarto Deers have, but they're a nice addition for this year.

This is what was under my jacket.



Usually with a patterned top like this one (Target, of course), I wear a sweater over it to break it up visually. But since it was Saturday I spent most of the day in my jacket anyway running errands, which served the same purpose.

One of those errands? Getting my hair cut and colored. I went a little dark on the color so it matches better with the silvery-greys that are exponentially sprouting up. (That seems counter-intuitive, but it's true.)

This was how it looked on Sunday.




I went with a Sheila look, a tissue-weight short-sleeved tee over a long-sleeved tee, and added that weird blue-grey jacket I often have trouble working into an outfit. (Told you I was cycling through more unworn items, thanks to the Great Closet Purge.) Comfy and a little tough, I liked it!





Lastly, we get to Monday. The flash was in use outside because it was dark out so my hair already looks blonder again. So weird!






This other Gwynnie Bee top -- a rich pink cowl neck from Tablots -- breathed new life into this striped cascading cardigan from White House Black Market (remember when we bought this in Vegas, Mom?), black Gap straight legs, and my trusty Naturalizer folded cuff booties.

And that's all I got today! Have a lovely Wednesday, my friends. Off to back-to-back meetings, UGH.

October Edits and Purchases

For a couple of years now, I have greatly enjoyed Lorena's Edits posts. She diligently removes a few items from her closet every month, and documents why she got rid of them. She also shops, as we are all wont to  do, and she documents those too. Now that I have done the Great Closet Purge, I want to keep a closer eye on what I am adding in, and I want to edit out with more frequency, so I decided I would pay homage to my friend Lorena and start my own monthly Edits and Purchases post.

#1



A pair of Old Navy yoga pants. I have 4-5 of these since they are my at-home lounging pants. This one got a hole on the thigh, so time for them to go!

#2



Old Navy button-down neckless blouse in grey dot pattern. Got it sometime summer/fall 2011 but I rarely wear it. I am too lazy to iron it, and there is just something about the neckline that is very unflattering on me. I have a similar one in deep purple that I am also on the fence about, but it lives another day. For now.

The polka-dot blouse in better days.



Its purple twin that is still around, for now.





#3



Target banded-hem short-sleeve blouse in hot-pink floral pattern, from summer 2012. This is a classic example of my failure in picking tops: I fall in love with a pretty pattern or color, then ignore all the flaws that don't flatter my body. In this case, the banded hem kept riding up my backside every time I sat down, and that horrible wide neck yet again looked terrible on me. (Why do they only make that neckline for plus-size blouses? Do they think our necks are too fat otherwise to get it on?

Phillip took this one. I ripped a hole in it before the day was though, which I did patch and wear one more time before I gave up. Stupif ugly neckline.



#4



I got this necklace from my sister for a jewelry party thing she was doing in 2011. I wish they had shown the whole necklace in the picture instead of just the pendant; those side elements are ugly as sin and make the whole thing look like it came from the 1970s. I tried to make it work but it just irritates me every time I see it hanging with my other necklaces. Time to go!

#5




Extra-long grey pullover sweater from LOFT. I think I might have bought it because it was an XXL but it still fit me, so I kept it to pretend that I was still small enough in size to wear LOFT sizes. But it's too clingy in form -- because it's so long -- so it showed every bump of my waistband in pants or skirts. I give up.

Onto the purchases!

I went on a big shopping trip with a work girlfriend at the very end of September, so even though I started tracking in October, I included everything I bought then too.




I am tracking by store, item, and color. September was setting myself up for fall/winter, adding a bunch of nicer pieces from Nordstrom, and a few needed shoes. October was a lot of neutral basics; outside of the pink fleece lounging top ($6 at Old Navy, and so cozy I am wearing it as we speak), everything is black, white or brown. That is because seeing my closet laid out as it is, it is much harder to kid myself that I need another cheap patterned top that I won't wear enough.

But I needed more pants because Hubby is stretching out how often he does laundry, a couple of white tops because the ones I have are getting ragged, a couple of black and brown cardigans that actually fit over my boobs, a bra replinishment, and a couple of coats (one casual, one work-appropriate) for the chilly in-between weather that we have in November.

I am really trying to curb my shopping, teaching myself to get smarter about it. The last 5 or so years -- since Shopping Friend taught me how to dress myself better,  then I discovered YouLookFab and then fashion blogging -- I have bought a TON of clothes. And donated a ton too. Now, I also lost and gained 70+ pounds during that time, which necessitated a lot of those purchases, but still, it's been a whole lot more than what I needed. As you can see above, most of my clothes come from Target, Old Navy and Gap (Nordstrom only when I am buying the better stuff) -- I buy a lot of cheap fashion.

This summer I asked for book recs, and Roberta recommended Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion, which has been a huge eye-opener for me. I want to do a lengthier entry about it soon, but it's really prompted me to look closely at my closet and my shopping habits, which makes this whole transformation for me so timely. I didn't really love the suggestions for improvement the author made (slow fashion with organic material is a very long ways away for most of the public, which means plus-sized will be almost impossible to find), but the concept of moving away from buying pretty-patterned, cheaply-made Target tops is one that I want to embrace now.

So we shall see how my spreadsheet looks as time goes on! And Gwynnie Bee helps with that; instead of buying a top I will only wear once or twice, I am now using the Gwynnie Bee service to rent them. I pay a flat monthly fee, and Gwynnie Bee sends me something from my online "closet" (aka my Netflix queue). I wear it and slip it back into the bag for a fast, free return. Gwynnie Bee now has an option on their website to let them know you are shipping something back, and they will send out your next item immediately instead of waiting until they recieve the package.

In October I was on a 3-items-out package (the 3rd item was an upgrade, thanks to Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen), and I rotated through 11 items. Four were returned unworn because they were too big, but six got worn at least once (and a few had 2-3 wears), and one is still hanging in my closet for this week. Two are in a bag on their way back tomorrow, and I expect to get the next in the queue within the week.

My 2-item plan is $59/month (the basic 1-item is $35/month, and the 3-item is $79). That ended up being $5.36 for each of the 11 items, or $8.42 for each of the 7 items I did wear. If I had bought all 7 items I would have easily spent $150, and I probably would have worn them the same number of times.

Gwynnie Bee is a great way to put the lessons I learned from Overdressed in action, while still giving me the variety and the "whee, new clothes" excitement of cheap-fashion shopping. Plus, the items are better-made than your basic Old Navy top so they're elevating the look of the rest of my wardrobe. Win-win-win all around!

If you are interested in joining Gwynnie Bee, give me your email and I will send you an invite. You don't have to commit to a monthly subscription until you log in and look around the site; if it appeals, give it a try. I am glad so far that I have!

Pink snakeskin draped top from DKNY (Gwynnie Bee) with my black LOFT Outlet cardigan, gray Gap straight legs, and new black studded Vince Camuto flats.

(P.S. I do get a referral rate if I send you an invite. Just so you know.)