Konmari, Round 1: My Clothes

As I wrote last week, I am in the process of "tidying" our house using the method developed by Marie Kondo in her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

She recommends by starting with your personal items, i.e., your clothes. The idea is that you do all of it at once -- every single item you own must be pulled out of drawers, off the hangers, out of storage. All of it, no matter the season or size.

Next you touch each piece, and you ask, "Does this spark joy? Does this piece make me happy?" If the answer is no, then you discard it. That seems simple, but of course it isn't. Sometimes even if you don't love an item, you don't want to let it go. Kondo advises that you then delve further, and ask yourself why you are hesitating. Is it because for a nostalgia factor, or does it still have the tags on it and you feel guilty, or did it used to fit a long time ago and never will again? Think about the specific reason, and thank it for bringing you whatever it brought you, and then...let it go.

I felt so foolish doing this, but in the end it helped more than I can describe. Thanking my t-shirt for teaching me that pale blue is not my color felt stupid but it was also freeing. I was able to let go of old tights that I wore a million times that are now out of fashion, of scarves I loved and haven't worn in years, of a pile of too-small t-shirts I bought in a frenzy from Old Navy and never wore a single one. And it was FUN to remember great outfits and blog posts I had done on some of them. I've had some killer outfits over the years!

Anyway, this is how it looked when I started.

The closet. (The top shelf and top rack are my husband's. I left those as they were -- Kondo strongly recommends you only organize YOUR stuff. It's up to the other people in your house to take care of their own. I honored that.)

 


The top of my bureau



On my side of my bed. The drawers in the bedstand were also full of clothes.



Between the bureau and the bed. The hampers are just our weekly laundry hampers, but the hatboxes were also full of clothes.


The whole bedroom. The two other bureaus are my husband's, as are all the shoes and clothes at the foot of the bed. I have to ignore those until he is ready. (Spoiler alert: two months into watching me revel in my new tidied space, he's ready. He actually broke down this weekend and asked me to help him. WOOHOOO!!)




Then it was time to gather all my clothes together. Kondo recommends you pull everything at once but I didn't have the space, so I conquered one type of clothing at a time.

First it was tops. This included sweaters, casual t shirts, pajamas/loungewear, blouses, camisoles, everything I wear on the top half of my body.





I touched each piece. I asked myself if it sparked joy. If the answer was no, I thanked it for what it brought me, and I let it go.

I left go of 8 bags of clothes. Tops were definitely the hardest, but once I got through it I understood the concept and was able to keep pushing on.

Bottoms (Pants and skirts)


Shoes (yes, that is my dog on the other side of Shoe Mountain.)



I thought shoes would be harder, but since my fallen arches have irreversibly changed what shoes I can wear, it was pretty quick work letting go of the ones that hurt me.



Stockings. (Abby was pretty over this project by then. My clothes were in her spot!)



The scarves that still spark joy.



The scarves that don't.




Bags. (MY PURSES NO OMG WHAT AM I DOING STOP THE MADNESS.)



I ended up getting rid of (i.e., selling) these Coach bags, and trimmed down my collection to an impressive set -- I love every single bag I kept. I may have been a little overzealous in getting rid of some of the wristlets, in hindsight, but now I can wait and buy just the right ones to replace what is gone. I look at the picture above and realize while I wish I had a good wristlet, none of the ones I had were The One.)



(Plus underwear, socks and bras, but I am not going to show you any of that. LOL!)

Then the culling was over, and it was time to put things away. This is where it is important to keep reading the book -- Kondo has a lot of great ideas about storage and organization, all of which can be done without buying any new contraptions. It's about re-thinking and maximizing your space, keeping your like items together, and taking the time to put things away neatly the first time.

Or, if you Google the YouTube videos, it's about folding your clothes and standing them on their ends. Which looks great, and really works.




Workout clothes and pajamas. Kondo's excellent advice is that you never "downgrade" clothes to sleepwear/loungewear. Once I freed myself of an embarrassing number of shirts where I done just that, I was left with loungewear I *like* wearing, and don't feel like a schlump in. What a concept!



More tops



Doing this helped me compact from a big bureau to a smaller one, plus helped me see I have WAY TOO MUCH PINK in my wardrobe. I've done some more culling and replacing since. This was a huge eye opener!

Kondo also recommends you store "like" items together, which I cannot stress enough. This has also been a big help -- all my jeans and pants are now hung in the closet, and there are no more extra piles of clothes in other drawers or under the bed for another season. The only exception I made to this are the other sizes that I have stored in the basement, but these were already culled down to only the best pieces a few years ago. I've brought up the tops in the next size already, and they are hanging in the closet. (Blouses and cardigans go in the closet; everything else gets folded in the bureau.)

So now my closet has my pants, dresses, jackets and blouses. Which, amazingly, left plenty of room to hang my purses and scarves.







It's hard to show visually the impact of this, so here are some numbers too.

Tops: Kept 61, donated 60
Bottoms: Kept 37, donated 25
Jackets: Kept 12, donated 8
Shoes: Kept 19, donated 21
Accessories: Kept 31, donated 68 (scarves and belts mostly)

342 pieces total, donated 53% because they did not spark joy.

Two months later, I haven't missed anything. I've been able to find some real wardrobe holes, and have purchased a few new things. A few other items have stopped sparking joy, so they are in a new donate bag. It's a perpetual cycle, of course, but I feel so much freer and confident about my wardrobe now. I LIKE everything in it. When was the last time you were able to say that?


Next week: how cleaning out the linen closet and bathroom prompted me to redecorate the bedroom.

It IS Magical, and it IS Life-Changing

As everyone who follows me on Instagram or Facebook knows, this spring I embarked on the project of tidying my house, Konmari-style.

What is Konmari? It is the self-named tidying method developed by Marie Kondo. Her best-selling book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, explains it all. I have to tell you, if you are considering doing this, don't just read random people's blogs (like mine) -- buy the book yourself, and read it all the way through. It's a fast read, and there is just so much information in there you need to go through it all yourself. Some tidbit she mentions might inspire you differently than it did me -- you never know what that will be! I find myself going back through chapters even now to review and find new ideas.

As she recommends, I started with my personal items: my clothes. She very strongly suggests that you only do YOUR personal items, that you can't force other people in your home to organize themselves. That's been a big failure of mine -- my husband has a completely different thought process about tidying and organizing than I do, and all previous attempts at organizing have failed when I tried to do it for both of us.

So this time I informed him up-front that I was ONLY doing my own stuff; if he wanted to clean up his, he was welcome to do so, but I wasn't going to force the issue. And I have kept to that promise, even three months later! But you know what has happened? He has liked all the changes I have made so much that it has (slowly) inspired him to whittle down his crap too. I did some traveling in May and July, and both times he worked on cleaning out his bureaus and closets in my absence. We're getting there!

But the Konmari method isn't just about your closet, it's about your whole house. My husband and I agreed that I would also do the joint living spaces like the bathrooms, living room, and kitchen -- his office and basement spaces were off-limits. (Not a problem; he's a pack-rat and those rooms drive me nuts anyway. I was happy to steer clear of them! LOL!)

 So far I have tidied and re-organized:
-my entire bedroom, from bureaus to closet to hidden storage
-linen closet and hallway
-both bathrooms
-books and DVDs in the living room
-junk drawer
-kitchen, including the stored items in the basement
-car

I'm working my way slowly through other areas still, including:
-all small electronics
-photographs
-front closet of jackets and winter gear
-old items in the basement (selling those via online garage sales on Facebook)
-utility room in the basement

It's really been tremendously helpful. We've lived here twelve years, and I don't see us moving anytime soon. The clutter had really built up, in all sorts of unexpected places, and I realize now that I was not utilizing the storage space I had very well. We couldn't even fit our food in the kitchen cabinets, so most of it was living on the counter!

We've gone from this:



To this:



From this:






To this:



What's been most enlightening is that it has helped me see what is really left, and what needs updating. We're slowly redecorating the bedroom and bathroom now -- we purchased a new duvet and changed around the artwork, so now once my husband is done cleaning out his bureaus we will be purchasing a new set for both of us and painting the walls the dove grey I have wanted for years. We replaced the old stained rug in the bathroom, and I'm looking at new towel racks near the shower, and then it will get the same paint job as the bedroom. Each phase of tidying has opened up new possibilities for us; I don't WANT to move anymore, I want to continue making this house ours.

Best of all, by fixing the organization in the kitchen, I eliminated the growing need we had had to redo the cabinets. There's plenty of room now that I figured out the right place for everything to go! Instead, we can look at replacing our dying dishwasher... :)

I'll post detailed pictures for each completed section in upcoming posts; from the feedback I keep getting online and in real life, my journey has been inspiring many of my friends to try it out too. Maybe it will inspire you too!

(But seriously: buy the book.)

How I killed my impulse shopping habit

A remarkable thing has happened to me the last few months: after five years of impulse shopping, spending hundreds of dollars and hours at the mall or in online stores every month, I finally broke myself of the habit.

When I say I shopped, I mean I really shopped. I thought nothing of going up to the outlet mall for the day, one weekend a month, and coming home with multiple bags. I had a routine online, where I would hit 3-4 of my favorite stores, fill up the shopping carts, then as the best sale email popped up for each I would hit Checkout. Of course, I also ended up returning a lot, but that just gave me another excuse to go to the store.

Even if I wasn't buying, I was always shopping.

I could give you tons of excuses for it -- I had significant weight losses and gains, I discovered fashion very late in life, I got wrapped up in following and being a fashion blogger and trying to keep my closet fresh -- but all of those are just excuses. The truth is I liked having new clothes, and lots of them.

Killing that habit has been a 4-step process.

1. I read Overdressed: the Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion. My reader Roberta recommended it months ago, and I have been recommending it to all my fashion-minded friends both on and offline ever since. The book does a tremendous job detailing the impact our shopping habits have had on our style, our economy, our charities, the international economy, the workers, and then environment. The chapter on what really happens to most of the clothes we donate was enough for me to re-evaluate what the hell I was doing.



2. I cleaned out my closet. And by closet I mean I cleaned out everything, right down to every obscure corner where I was essentially "hiding" clothes: in drawers, on hangers, under the bed, in bureaus in the hall, in closets in the office, in many, many places in the basement. I had an unnecessary amount of clothes, so much so it was preventing my ability to SEE what I had. I have always used my outfits as a creative outlet, mixing together colors, patterns and just the right accessories to finish it off. Now I can do that much more easily because everything is right in front of me every day, and I don't feel like I am "missing" things for outfits...which of course means I don't need to shop as much.




3. I began tracking my purchases and edits on a monthly basis. I did one final massive drop-off at the donation center when I cleaned out my closet, but that is the last time I intend to do that. The quantity of what I gave away was ridiculous, and not in a good way. That said, things do need to get culled regularly, and it's equally important that I track my purchases. It helps me see my buying patterns, and more than that it helps me see when I am buying things that don't make it more than a month or two. I already have a few items I bought in September and October that I want to get rid of already; I need to get smarter about that.

Once those pieces were in place, that solved many of the utilitarian, practical problems that impulse shopping had created. But what the first three steps didn't give me was the excitement and fun that I got with new clothes: that first thrill of trying on a new piece and see how it flatters me, the creative buzz as I figure out what I can pair it with in new outfits, the compliments I got from other fashion-minded friends.

That only came with the last step of the process.



4. I joined Gwynnie Bee. I've talked about my love for this company many times in the past, but they've earned it. I love everything about them: the website is easy to navigate, the photos of the clothes are flattering and often show the same item on different models so you can see differences in fit and drape on various body types, and adding items to your "closet" is a snap. They've improved their shipping times since I started in September, and will be improving them again once they move to a new distribution center. But for now you can indicate on the website when you are shipping something back, and they will send your next piece out sooner.

Best of all, I get all of the fun of new purchases without having to buy anything. The white box arrives every couple of days, and inside is a lovely piece gently folded and wrapped in tissue. Sometimes I don't check the website before so it's a surprise when I open the box, other times I take a peek so I can start planning how I will fit it into my closet before it gets here. Once I've tried it on and determined it is the right size (which I am getting better at ordering now that I am more familiar with some of their brands) the creativity starts as I dream up new outfits for it. And if the item didn't fit, I fold it immediately into the return bag, go to the website that evening to note I am shipping it back and wave it goodbye, just like I would do with any returns from my impulse shopping days.

Some of the pieces I have gotten lately (more are here):



(My hair was still soaking wet so I just did a quick half self-portrait.) This Rafaella long sweater was unexpected and fun; the cowl was a knit weave, but the sweater was more like a terry sweatshirt. It felt great and perfect for a chilly winter day.



This Edista top is still one of my favorites, ever.





Like I said, I didn't a good picture of myself in this Eloquii sequin jacket, but it was a really flattering fit and good quality.





This Karen Kane orange drape neck top proved to add a nice punch of color to a couple of business meeting outfits.





This brown animal print jacket is hard to photograph so you can see all the detailing, but it has great quilted ruching on the side so it is not nearly as boxy as the top photo suggests. I really liked the orange with it; the brown and black have a dusty, muted tone to them so it's difficult to find the right blouse for the jacket.



I got in one more wear of the orange top in a casual outfit, with a long chunky grey sweater, silver circle pendant from LOFT Outlet, faded Kut from the Kloth boyfriend jeans, and my faux-moto Clarks boots.



I showed off this JonesNY snakeprint cardigan in my Color Project: White post, but it also got a few more wears with other colors for some work outfits too.



The all-black palette brought out more of the baseball jacket look of the sweater, I thought. And hey Mom -- that's the badge pendant necklace from Brighton that you got for me! :)



Last outfit was with my own red Lane Bryant drape top -- which you will see again as part of the Color Project: Red round-up. :)

Gwynnie Bee approached me last week to become an affiliate, and I very happily said yes. Long-time blog readers will know that I don't really do blog sponsorships; I get email inquiries occasionally asking me to review products, but nothing has ever interested me the way Gwynnie Bee has. So I guess this is my first official blog entry that will need a disclaimer!

If you are interested in signing up for Gwynnie Bee, click this link to join. Joining is free -- it lets you look around the site and view some of the clothes they offer. If you decide to subscribe to the 1, 2, or 3 plan, they are currently offering a 30-day free trial, and after that they will charge your credit card for whichever monthly rate you choose. Here comes the disclaimer part: as an affiliate, I will get a free month myself if you follow the link to join and end up as a paying subscriber.

I am going to be blunt here: if you are a plus-sized woman who likes clothes, you are foolish not to try this out. I've been a big girl all my adult life, and I have never, EVER had a site where I could see -- and more importantly, get to feel and wear -- so many different brands and styles together in one place. It's like a whole mall, just for us!

They have TONS of dressy outfits too; my plan when I have a nice party to go to is to rearrange the closet and hold sections so I will get sent a good assortment of dresses and sparkly tops and jackets to try and to borrow for the occasion. I can't even think of another site where that is possible for someone my size.

When I eventually start to lose weight again, I suspect they are going to be a godsend for that as well; I will just order smaller sizes as I move down the scale, thus rotating through a new wardrobe without having to buy a whole new wardrobe.

Most of all,  Gwynnie Bee makes me feel PRETTY, and WELCOMED, and VALUED, as a woman and as a customer. I never feel left out because I want to wear something that isn't offered in my size (thanks a lot, Banana and Gap), I don't feel pushed aside and sent to the Misses section behind the luggage on a different floor than everyone else (hello, Macys) and the online photos they choose are pretty and flattering and don't make their models look like squat dwarves in highwaters (that's you, Nordstrom). I do shop at all the stores I just complained about, of course, but it's always while feeling like a little bit *less* than their preferred customer. Gwynnie Bee never makes me feel like that.

Seriously, give them a try. They were definitely the final piece I needed in place to kill my impulse shopping habit. :)

Now, don't get me wrong: I still love shopping! In fact, my next post will be about Stuff I Want. But the need to do it as often as I used to, or at the same volume of purchases, that's dead and gone. I don't miss it.

If only it were this easy to give up some of my other bad habits! :)

December Edits and Purchases

First things first: on the shopping front, I went a little crazy in December.



The total amount wasn't too bad: 4 blouses and sweater, black booties, a clutch and a pair of cords (plus a gorgeous gift jacket from my Mom), but it occurred over 4 different shopping trips, which felt like a lot. Funny, I used to think nothing of shopping every weekend, but now 4 trips in a month made me feel like a glutton. Perspective!

That said, all the items have been in heavy rotation all month. The Lane Bryant items were the ones that traveled to Detroit and Connecticut for our holiday trips, so while I didn't get any photos of them, my family sure saw enough of them!

Between those and the Gwynnie Bee tops that I continue to happily cycle through, getting dressed in the morning is still a breeze. Finally found a good place to keep my camera inside for morning photos, so I might get back to showing you guys what I mean!

++++++

This month's edits are an odd assortment.



A pair of butt-ugly dress shoes that I bought in a panic a few years ago (for a party) and which have been sitting in a plastic box on the top of my closet ever since. I needed the plastic box for something else so it was time to get rid of what was inside them.



I needed two boxes. ;-)
I don't know if I ever wore these. Maybe once. They were cheap and uncomfortable; I am much better about buying shoes now.



The faux Chanel bag. Farewell, my lovely!



See how the faux-leather was crumbling along the chain strap? It left red pieces everywhere.



Tis the season for chunky/oversized sweaters, and this was one of my favorites last year. I had high hopes for wearing this with my new burgundy cords, but where was a stain on the chest that I could not get out.



Stupid stain.



This is a perfect example of my impulse purchases of multiple colors. I bought these tops a few years ago with Shopping Friend up at the Eddie Bauer outlet. The colors are great, the knit is so soft, they're perfectly fine...and I never wore them. Plain v-neck shirts are just not my style.
So I relegated them to lounge wear, but I haven't worn them in a least a year. Now the two Old Navy fleece v-necks have become my go-to lounge wear, and it's time for these to go. 



Another loungewear top from Old Navy. Love the mustard, the extra-long sleeves and the waffle knit fabric, but the scoop is deep, and the shirt is very big, so the girls were a little too visible for lounging, if you know what I mean. Time to go!



As long as I was going through the loungewear drawer, I found this Gap knit top at the bottom of the pile. Since I had forgotten I even owned it...time to go!



I don't even know why I bought this Old Navy hoodie top. It had all the same fit problems as the mustard one.



The hole in the chest didn't help matters. Time to go!

This one makes me the saddest. I have another version of this sheer tie-neck Target blouse in a pattern that I love and wear all the time, so when I saw this one I thought it would become even more beloved. Teal, red and black -- how could it go wrong!

But it was so, so wrong. The colors looked awful, or maybe the pattern was too busy, or something. I just hated it with everything I tried to pair it with. I am giving up.



We also cleaned out the old scarves and hats from the coat closet, and Hubby cleaned out some of his stuff from the basement. The Goodwill people were happy to see my four bags this month!