I Hate My Closet, Part 1

You guys. Have you ever gotten to the point where you despise every piece of clothing in your closet?

I thought so. I am there right now.

This has been a long journey to get here; long-time readers of LFD remember the days when I was quite the shopper, finding deals and great new pieces on a regular basis. Then my weight went up, and up, and up, and up, and my interest in staying current in fashion went down, and down, and down, and down.

It wasn't just the weight gain that killed my interest in shopping and fashion. Another part of it was that I started to realize I had a full closet -- too much closet, really -- and I didn't NEED to buy anymore. If fact, I need to pare it down to the essentials so I could see what I really had. I donated boxes and boxes of clothes, and pretty much stopped buying new clothes. Gwynnie Bee has done an excellent job of keeping my closet fresh and my need for new items fulfilled.

But the last part, the biggest part, was the limited options available for plus-size mature adults with careers in conservative/traditional offices. I've complained before about "fat-girl" necklines, right? It drives me CRAZY -- it is SO HARD to find v-neck or boatneck or collared tops in plus-sizes. All the interesting shaped or print blouses always have this extra-wide round neckline that both goes too deep/wide and shows off too much skin at the chest, and weirdly sits too far back on the neck and shows off a lot of shoulder/back. Fat-girl neck leaves a huge circle of skin showing, and it does not look professional at all. Additionally, usually it is also a loose blouse so it shifts around if you have to, say, wear a name badge clipped to your neckline, or carry a purse on your shoulder. I am forever triple-checking to make sure my bra strap isn't showing (and it often is, dammit).

Examples of fat-girl necklines:

See what I mean? That's not a vee or a scoop or even a boatneck neckline. It's just...there.

My joke whenever I see a fat-girl neckline: "Hey, my HEAD is a normal size. I don't need extra room to get the shirt over it."

The other problem is that finding a fitted top is nearly impossible. I look at the other plus-size women where I work, and we all have the same uniform: billowy blouse that ends past our hips, thus hiding any type of curve or shape we might have, and making us look bigger than we are. Or worse, the dreaded cascading cardigan which pretty much does the same thing. Everything is draped around us, like tenting on a wedding table. Like so:

You wouldn't know cascading/boyfriend cardigans went out of vogue a few seasons ago from looking at any plus-size department. It's all about hiding our shape -- which is actually MORE unflattering than wearing something too tight, in my opinion.

On the internet, if you want plus-size fitted, the only option I see are dresses. Gwynnie Bee has a weekly Members Post of their clients in mostly dresses, and it is all the same va-va-va-voom look; the girls all look lovely and shapely, but they are ALL in their 20s/30s, and none of it would be appropriate for a conservative office. On a personal note, dresses are no longer an option for me since my feet require orthopedic shoes now. I'm still struggling to find a pair I can wear with dresses -- heck, I still need a dressy pair to go with slacks. (That's another post for another day.)

So. I've been trapped in fashion-less hell -- black slacks, black sneakers (kill me now), billowy top or a long cardigan to hide under. On the most depressing days, it is the ubiquitous black cascading cardigan along with the black pants and shoes. I can't tell you how many plus-sized co-workers I have who wear the same thing -- and in some cases it's the same black cascading cardigan every single day. At my peak, I owned three myself.

And I get why; it's not about low self-esteem or not feeling like you are worth spending money on. I have spent a damn lot of money, and a damned lot of time shopping online and in person. But finding flattering, work-appropriate clothes in a size higher than XXL is a Herculean task, and after a while, you just get too discouraged to keep trying. So you stick with your limited choices, and you focus on other things.

Things I did while not giving a crap about my outfits:
-Enjoyed the freedom in the morning from having to try on multiple outfits, and spent it cuddling with my puppy instead.
-Replenished my makeup supply, and finally learned how to use primer and tinted moisturizer to even out my skin tone.
-Spent 6 months in physical therapy healing my fallen arches, and learned to love my sneakers.
-Played a lot of internet games. A LOT.
-Had occasional flashes of Fun Clothes when a good piece from Gwynnie Bee arrived. But most of their stuff has been filler for under the cardigan, which was okay by me.


Eventually, though, all that black was just too much, and it was time to do something about it. But that's for Part 2. ;-D

Last week

Some random shots from last week...



Emily and I goof around in the doorframe, then I did a real shot. Truthfully, I liked the goofing around one better.



The remaining coral Old Navy sweater, black tee, grey Gap modern bootcuts, ivory and black patterned scarf. The scarf did not last long with the outfit once I got to the office. Hot flashes don't like being contained by a scarf. :(



I had a meeting with some snazzy dressers on Thursday, so I was glad I had gotten this gold bird-patterned top from Gwynnie Bee a few days earlier. The suit is Gap, actually -- it is my usual Gap bootcuts (I have many pairs of them) and I bought the Gap suiting jacket a while ago just to be able to turn it into a suit when needed.



The necklace is a smoky glass one that I've had for a few years; it had way too many other cluttery items on it when I first bought it from Ann Taylor, but I trimmed it down and it's been a workhorse ever since. So pretty against the gold top -- I got tons of compliments all day.



This cracked me up -- a couple weeks ago, my co-worker D and I had the same color scheme idea for casual Friday! We had one of the guys take our picture.

I am on Staycation this week, and have already been picture happy. I'll post more in a bit.

Color Project: Red

The Color Project: Red has officially begun!

I started two weeks ago with this Lane Bryant top under a Gwynnie Bee sweater. The red top is tons of fun, and an easy staple in the closet. No question it is staying.



Last week I wore a number of tops from the project.

First was a purple Old Navy collarless blouse. I've struggled to find outfits for this before; it's one that I have to work into the rotation consciously, not one I grab because I want to wear it, like the red LB above. Not sure this one is going to last the month.
(Worn with a B&W striped cotton cardigan from Lane Bryant, faded Old Navy Dreamers, pewter Privos, white camisole, and my Brighton silver pendant. Variations of this are definitely my weekend wear.)





This mauve LOFT tee is the twin of the white one I dithered over during the White Project. Funny how a different color makes all the difference; I love the softness and tone of this one. It will be staying in the closet, for sure.
(Worn with a black Target cocoon cardigan, same faded Dreamers, and multi-stone long necklace from LOFT Outlet. Barefoot because it was my work from home day. :))







I forgot to add this purple-and-grey abstract banded top from Old Navy to the original Red pile, but it is mostly purple so I am adding it in. Trying with a tone-on-tone look with a purple Babeau draped cardigan from Norstrom from a few seasons ago, black NYDJ stretch straight legs, and Clarks Artisan fauz-moto booties.





Close-up of the Brighton silver pendant, a Christmas gift from my mom. It's supposed to be a badge holder but it's much too pretty for that.



This last outfit was my favorite of the week. I got this red polka-dot drape neck blouse from Nordstrom this fall, and I've struggled with the right outfit for it. I think my search is over.





What makes it work is that both pieces have a black heathered quality to them, so there is an underlying commonality to the patterns that makes them work together. It made me happy to wear all day long.



5 down, 5 to go. I might get through this chapter of the project faster than the White round.

Random December outfits

A few random outfits I have been wearing lately:



Grey on grey on grey on black. I am crazy about all the draped necklines around these days; this one is a heathered grey sleeveless one from Target that has worked well under many of my blazers. The drape at the waist is a problem, though. I put this grey mix together because I wanted to wear my grey pinstriped pants but there is something about the hue that makes it hard to fit with my more brightly-colored tops. So I went with neutrals instead. The jacket is a knit Alice + Olivia that I got during the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale; for a while there I had my doubts it would get much wear but I've been putting an effort into finding the right use for it, and it's worked well. 



More neutrals of the navy and brown school.  The grandpa cardigan is a little too grandpa-y here, but I decided to give it some structure by tucking in my Gap navy-and-brown striped top and adding a brown belt. Now that I look at it, a stronger gold necklace would have worked better instead the delicate long one I wore.



Casual Friday with a mustard v-neck shirt from Nordstrom, my beloved striped Lands End blazer, the Gap trouser jeans, and rose gold Tahari flats from DSW.

We went to Detroit this weekend (photos coming tomorrow!) and I somehow only managed to get one outfit photo. Which is a bummer, because I did finally break down and bought some new clothes from Lane Bryant, all of which I wore -- and that went together perfectly -- all weekend. I was so excited about my weekend packing, and I have no visual evidence to show it off. Doh!



This was Friday night; we stayed at the MGM Grand casino, so we spent the night "in" and downstairs gambling and hanging out. The long cardigan and black top are new from Lane Bryant, the jeans are those Jag jeans that I am still on the fence about (they did not fare well by the end of the weekend, waaaaaay too stretched out) and my sparkly Vince Camute suede flats. I am in love with the weight, fabric and stripe size on that cardigan; it is going into heavy rotation this winter, I can tell you now. Probably going to wear it today!



The purse is from a consignment store from a couple of years ago; it's a faux Chanel that I paid about $15 for. I love the idea of it, but I have only used 2-3 times. This is the last one; the "leather" in the strap is completely shredding and left little red pieces everywhere. It's in the bag for donation now!



This is yesterday's back-to-work outfit: the top is from Gwynnie Bee, and I knew as soon as I saw it on their website I had to wear it with my cobalt blue blazer. On its own, I didn't really love the top; the knit was too static-y and too short for my preferences, but under the jacket? Perfect.



I am so enjoying my Gwynnie Bee experience, I am considering upping my subscription to 3-pieces out a a time. Hmm, maybe for the new year when the shopping itch starts up anew. Right now I think I am doing okay finding things to wear. :)

Goldilocks

You guys, I am absolutely LOVING my wardrobe these days. I had no idea that getting rid of the clutter, allowing myself to routinely weed out items that aren't working, and cutting back on the shopping would be so darned freeing. Instead of constantly trying to outdo myself in terms of being fashion-foward, I am finding it is more satisfying to find ways to wear what I already have.

Of course, they don't all work -- at least not when I look at the photos sometimes -- but that too helps further hone my closet.



I liked the idea of this -- two versions of grey with a cobalt blue tee and a scarf for visual interest -- and for the most part it worked. But it's one that when I look at the photo, I realized it didn't. I think it's finally time to concede defeat on these dark grey Gap straight legs; there is just something about the fabric or the color that makes it look frumpy and dated, like they were black and now have faded to this grey. It drives me nuts!



This I liked a little better, even though it is just a whole lot of black. I have two of these "blogger" necklaces, but this cobalt blue one gets almost no wear. (Maybe I should have gotten it in red instead.) I don't have a lot of good contrasting colors for it, so it really only work against black or white. I thought it worked pretty well here, playing on that idea with a patterned B&W tank from Target, black cascading cardigan, and my trusty black Gap modern bootcuts.

This one, from yesterday, was Goldilocks approved, as it was just right.



Also lots of black but it doesn't feel that way. The purple skirt and knit jacket are two purchases from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale that I have been waiting to wear (patiently, for months!!) and it is finally cold enough to do so. See how the turquoise bloger necklace works just so much better than the cobalt one does? I think it might be just a more flattering color for me.

The top is from Gwynnie Bee, and it might just be the best one I have gotten from them yet. It's a simple INC black knit long sleeve top, but it fits and drapes PERFECTLY. It is the Holy Grail of black tops. I am taking it to Macys tomorrow to see if they still have any in stock; I need to own this to complete so many other looks. Assets tights and my Franco Sarto Deer shooties finish the look.



I had my doubts about that skirt, but now that it is cold enough to wear, I expect it is going to get lots of mileage. It's the first skirt or dress that I have had in a long while that looks good on my dupa.

Coincidentally, I got a couple of questions about that leather-trimmed tweed jacket from my last post; it was also from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale (and is out of stock now, sorry). It in fact inspired the color combo of this outfit. I may try the skirt and necklace again with the jacket next time!

If you are interested in Gwynnie Bee, anytime during the month of November,  you can sign up for a free 30-day trial. Leave me your email (or email it to me) and I will send you an invite. I really cannot speak more highly of this service. It's rejuvenating my closet!

Layering to good effect

I did some layering of two of my favorite pieces, a sheer Target patterned bowtie top and an older Halogen sparkly-purple cardigan. Then black everything else: layering tee, skinny belt, bootcut pants, pointy shoes. I wasn't sure about the two tops pieces together, but I think in the end it worked well.



That poor sweater has a number of snags. This might be its last season.

Day/Night #2 of the Night Shower Experiment also turned out well.







The only problem is that it turns out my hair has 22 hours exactly before the roots get oily, dark and flat. So if I shower at 7 the night before, by 4 or 5pm, it does not look good at all. This is a problem on days when I am going out after work! Since I am doing so on Friday -- Phillip's last day, you guys! Noooooo!!! -- I had to scrap the Night Shower experiment for today.

But it looked good yesterday, at least!



Happy Friday! Any interesting weekend plans?

My hair is bouncin' and behavin'

I dub Day/Night 1 of the Night-Shower Experiment a success.



All I had to do was brush it in the morning. !! Apparently bed head is a good look for me. I did make one mistake in letting it air dry the first night; it was a little flat on the top of my head, which a good volumizer and a quick blow would have fixed. I will work on that.

I also liked the outfit; the pants are a grey pinstripe, so it's not as all-black as the photo would indicate. You guys know me, I'm not a all-black person so it feels like when I do wear it, it packs a punch. The turquoise Blogger Necklace helps soften it up around my face, too, which I need.

The shoes are Circa Joan & David kitten heels from several years back. Shopping Friend will remember them; they're the first "heels" she convinced me to buy! When the pointy-toe look faded the last few years, I tucked them into the back of my closet, but now that it is making a comeback -- and frankly I needed the kitten heel height for the pants, and these were all I had -- I pulled them back out. They've held up well; guess spending a few extra dollars on quality shoes instead of Target/Payless cheapies pays off.

Speaking of spending, this is now following me around the internet.



The two-tone brown booties are the ones I was talking about the other day, and the wedge casual booties on the left are a fabulous find from Angie at YLF. Now that I can wear jeans a few other days besides the weekend, and I do have a good number of said jeans with long hems for heels, I think I can justify a fun bootie like that.

I may scrap the fall/winter purse idea for another year -- since none are jumping out at me as The One -- and go for some solid bootie additions instead.  And maybe a smart daytime clutch -- it's very on-trend, and the only clutches I have are summer woven ones.

Dammit, the ads win again.

Fall Style: Blazers and pants

I may have mentioned in my Closet Purge post that I am wearing a lot of blazers and suit-like outfits these days; mostly it's due to having so many meetings these days at work, but blazers are also an easy cop-out on weekends to having to buy more fall jackets.

This is what I wore yesterday:



Pretty much everything is from Gap or Old Navy. The cobalt blazer is this one, the pants are the modern bootcuts, and the button-down is actually this military style jersey. I've decided I like this better than a stiffer cotton button-down, which tends to square my torso off in terrible ways.

But the parts of this outfit that make it interesting, IMO, are the necklace and the shoes. The necklace is what Gracie over at Fashion for Giants teasingly (and affectionately) calls the "blogger necklace", the colorful statement style that has definitely been making the rounds on many blogs. I picked two of them up as part of a Groopz deal that Kimberly from Fab Finds under $50 linked to a while back, and I've been wearing both all summer, and getting many real-life compliments on them. Even though the turquoise is a summer color, I used the inspiration from a Nordstrom display to wear it for fall too.




(Next time, I am going to try it with my trusty striped blazer.)

The other item of note are my flats. I have been thoroughly unimpressed with the shoes out for this fall; I've bought many and returned just about all of them, only keeping one pair of black studded flats so far. But these flats have been sitting in my closet for a few years now, an impulse purchase from the Ann Taylor Factory outlet, picked up for about $10. They've been mostly unworn because their style hasn't quite fit with my dress obsession or any casual looks on the weekends. But since hurting my back last week I've been wearing mostly flats with shorter-length pants, so I pulled them out and gave them a try. Good thing I didn't purge them; they look professional and cute with my new blazers look.



All in all, I thought this worked well for the season. I was actually one of the better dressed people at my meeting!



(Our new fish doormat says hello. A birthday gift from my parents to my fisherman-husband, heehee.)