All is Ebb and Flow

Duchesse had a thought-provoking blog post last week, about three celebrities who had recently been on Oprah: Jennifer Hudson, Carrie Fisher, and Roseanne Barr. She noted that all three were or had been publicly losing weight while also struggling with many other personal issues.

Duchesse commented, "And I wondered, how much can a woman take on?"

And later, "Three in a row here, and I think Oprah intends a message. Everything comes and goes: troubles, health, men, fame, weight: all is ebb and flow."

Both comments struck home for me, for different reasons. I'm not in a healthy headspace right now, but I know I want to get there soon. And while there is never really a good time to start dieting and that I can make excuses about it like nobody's business, these last five months at work have been brutal. I feel like I am a different person than I was back in October; I'm even more direct and terse, and I don't waste any extra effort on anything non-productive. I don't suffer fools anymore, and I don't have time to hold people's hands if they're going to be fragile butterflies. You come to me with a problem, and I am going to solve it and move on. I used to try to help them understand why they did it, now I just fix it and let them know it's done. I just -- I don't have time.

When I think about myself in terms of Duchesse's first question, my answer, "Nothing more than I already have on my plate." But work is going to be changing soon as we hire the last person on the team, and my plate will empty enough to take on something new. So for now I am not going to chastise myself for not "doing it all". I'm going to hang on and keep going, and when the time is right I'll take on the next thing.

And in the interim, we've already made small changes in our food intake. Hubby and I buy more frozen foods now, or foods that can cook in ten minutes with no effort, or a PBJ for dinner is not uncommon. It's still not 5 veggies a day, but it's not a free-for-all gorgefest at Taco Bell either.


Duchesse's second observation about "ebb and flow" reminded me of my "yo-yo" thoughts from last year. Our weight and our bodies change, our lives change, our circumstances change. I'm not even the same person I was two years ago when I did Medifast; I've lost people and pets very close to me, my body has started its turn toward real middle age, my job and daily responsibilities are completely different, I even have many new friends. Why would I think I could solve the same problem the same way, when I am totally different? Isn't that the definition of insanity?

I changed. I am changing. I will continue to change.

The thing I need to learn is how I adapt everything else to keep up with those changes.