Week 4 wrap-up thoughts: Dieting version

I will put together my wrap-up thoughts after the end of the 30-in-30 Challenge tomorrow, but I wanted to reflect briefly on my latest week on Medifast, and dieting in general.

1. I did cross the 10-pound mark this week, and despite my declarations earlier, I do feel damned good about it. How three weeks can change one's perspective! And how 10 pounds really can make a difference. I hate when I forget that, but it's great to be reminded. I can feel the loss in my pants for sure, and there have been some very heartfelt and kind comments here on the blog and at work about how the loss is visible in my face and elsewhere.

2. I'm not perfect this time on MF, but I am sticking with it and it's working. Like I said a couple of weeks ago, the thing I am trying to teach myself this go-around is moderation. As the saying goes, everything in moderation including moderation. So I may have a little extra at one meal, or allow myself an indulgent meal or a glass of wine sometimes, but only in moderation. I don't let it derail me from my next bar for my next meal, and I don't allow it to happen every day. I am too good at convincing myself I deserve a special treat all the time, and that's the main habit I need to break. I'm working on it.

3. I think that's how I'm going to continue in Vegas; to do a modified 4-and-2 or 5-and-1 depending on the day, and to decide meal to meal if it's one where I will stick close to Lean & Green or if it's one I might have a little bit more. Moderation!

4. 10 pounds in a month! It's weird because I am both happy and a little disappointed; I don't know that I had an actual number in my head that I thought I could lose during this 30-day challenge, but I did think I might be down a size by the end of it. I'm not there, and that's a little disappointing. I know it wasn't realistic, but sometimes the heart doesn't listen to the brain, you know? On the other hand, it has made me realize that I was BUSTING out of my current size at the beginning of this, and so maybe I'm not being fair to myself in using the pants as a gauge -- because if I had been honest with myself I would have been buying a bigger one to begin with. So now I fit in what I own, and they are getting looser every day. That is worth being happy about.

5. Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back. I went looking through some older posts this morning to find some thinky-thought links. That's a mistake. It's really, REALLY hard to look back and see myself at goal and know that I didn't stay there. That I ate and ate and ate, without any kind of moderation or brakes, that I talked a good game about trying new challenges but in the end dropping them without any real success, continuing to eat and justify every overloaded calorie as a treat I had "earned", until I put it all back on and have to do it again.

I'm doing my best not to self-flagellate about it too much, and to just get it together and get it off again, but I won't lie, it's hard not to blame myself sometimes. I'm trying my best to spin into a positive, and to look forward to getting back into those super-cute outfits from last year. And that is working too. Positive self-talk can do miraculous things if you let it.

And those are my thoughts this week. :)

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3