Anchors (away)

(Abigail in her kennel picture at 8 weeks, playing with her red bear (long since destroyed) when she was still growing into her ears, and the pretty dog she is at a year old.)

(Last week when she came back from the groomers. Her coat is as soft as it looks!)

I'm pretty sure I told you guys we got a puppy last July, right?** Abigail (Abby for short) has grown into a sweet, cuddly, lively doggie, and my life is so much richer for her presence. I've always thought I was more of a cat person than a dog one, but my baby girl is making me re-think that stance.

**(Oh yes, I did. In great photographic detail. Puppy pictures!)

Now that it is warmer out and the days are longer, we've been taking Abby to the dog park more often. She's definitely my husband's dog (especially since he was her primary caretaker last summer while he was off work and she was becoming housebroken and trained and just learning how to be a dog), but in the last few weeks, it's become more of a thing that Abby and I do together. We go a couple of times a day on the weekends, but even after work during the week it's become a common event. I get home and I'm tired and upset after work -- there's a lot of meanness and anxiety there these days -- and when this bundle of love comes flying at me for hugs and kisses, it makes the harshness of the day melt away. I get changed into casual clothes and walking sneakers, put the park pass around my neck, and off we go.

It's a good form of exercise for both of us; my torn tendon/fallen arches don't allow me to walk very fast, but of course all she wants to do is run out her puppy energy. On a leash, it's a constant battle between tempos; at the park, we each go at our own pace and get the workout we each need. We run, walk, and play fetch (I am often the one fetching the ball, sad to say); we get fresh air and sunshine and lots of water; we socialize with other dogs and their owners. It's pretty great for both of us. 

On the downside, taking her to the park means I skip a trip to the pool, and I am not in the mood to prepare anything elaborate (ie raw and in need of basic cooking) for dinner.  So it's PB&J, or a salad from the grocery store, or we order something delivered. It's barely on plan, I'm definitely not getting as much exercise as I would at the gym, and overall I've been beating myself up pretty badly over that. 

Yesterday at my WW meeting, we covered a topic that made me realize I've been doing it all wrong.

Our leader, Mark, asked us, "When you are feeling overwhelmed, what makes you feel better?" I shot my hand up in the air -- because of course, my answer was Abby.

Then he asked us to think about the following questions (cribbed from the WW weekly pamphlet, hope there's not any copyright issues!):
1. What's your trouble spot? (A situation where you struggle to avoid overeating.)
2. How do you want to feel in that situation?
3. Now conjure up a past time when you had those positive feelings and you totally nailed it.
4. Now pick your anchor (anything that reminds you of that time).
5. Make the positive connection.
6. Practice using it as a defense.


My answers started off easy:
1. My trouble spot is making dinner when I am tired.
2. When I am in my trouble spot, I want to feel comforted and taken care of.
3. The time I felt comforted/taken care of was...hunh, when I take Abby to the dog park after work.
4. My anchor is...Abby.

At that point, it dawned on me that maybe I already WAS using Abby as my anchor, but it was time to reframe the way I thought about it. Instead of feeling like not going to the gym and making healthy dinner was a FAILURE, maybe I should re-frame it so I feel good about getting outside and spending time with my dog (and husband, he comes with us too sometimes, LOL) after a rotten day. I should enjoy the sun on my face and throwing the ball and watching Abby race after it, ears flapping and her legs pumping. Afterward, just get a nice salad from the new grocery store around the corner and enjoy it. I don't have to cook all of our meals in order to eat healthy, and the pool will be there on a rainy day or the weekend.

I know it seems like a simple idea, but to me it was a game-changer. I'm still going to do the same things I was last week, but going forward I'm not going to make myself feel badly about it. Doing so will help me make better choices at the salad bar, too -- if I'm not feeling guilty and down on myself, I'm less likely to add in a hunk of bread or extra croutons or that full-fat mayo pasta salad. 

Me and my doggy, we got plans for the summer. Oh yes, we do.

She's as excited about it as I am. Yay!