Thank you, Mom

Dear Mom,

Thank you for teaching me to work hard, to be proud of myself, and to value education. I've watched you go from beauty queen and the doted-upon baby sister, to an elegant wife and hostess, to a dedicated teacher for those hardest to teach, to a principal and leader who commands and earns respect from all of those around her. You showed me by example that self re-invention is not only possible, but it is the very best way to grow and evolve.





Thank you for teaching me how to throw a great party. To make sure there is plenty of interesting food, to ensure all the small details like napkins and forks are within everyone's grasp without them even noticing, to provide the right kind of space for conversations and interaction. Most of all, thank you for teaching me how to interact at those parties; from you I learned the often-overlooked art of making small talk and making people feel comfortable and welcome. I will never forget driving in the car to Old Lyme every summer for the Yale dining hall party, listening to you quiz Dad on the names of his employees' children and wives. I fondly remember the seemingly-impromptu boat cookouts and vacation dinners, and the days of planning that went into our annual Christmas brunch and all of Yale football tailgate parties. I can't express how much I still miss all of those. I loved your parties so much.


Summer cookout on Block Islands, late 70s


Pina Colada party in Montauk, early 90s


Surprise party for Dad, 2007 or 2008

Thank you for teaching me how to be a loving wife and partner.  I didn't marry a guy like Dad; I modeled my marriage after yours. I watched you stay together and lean on each other through good times and bad, and I found someone I could do the same with. Watching you, I learned that marriage is hard work requiring compromise and patience, and it is well worth the trouble. You also taught me that marriage is private, just between me and my spouse, and everyone else's opinions and thoughts about it don't matter. I don't share it with my girlfriends, my sister, or even you; it's mine and my husband's, and it is the most important relationship I will ever have.







Thank you for teaching me to be a liberal Democrat, proud citizen, and contributing member of society. You were never very religious and neither am I, but because of you I understand right down to my bones that it is our responsibility as Americans to help those who can't help themselves, to feed the hungry, and to care for the ill and elderly. That government is "for the people", and should be used as such; it is there to protect us from corporations' and humanity's own ability to harm each other. Everything I believe about politics, government, and how we should behave toward each other in general, stems from what you taught and showed me.








Thank you for teaching me the value of self-beauty. I rebelled against it and you for many years -- as is a daughter's wont -- but a few years back I finally embraced the concept of fashion and makeup and style, and most of all, your contribution to my own style preferences. I look back at pictures of you from the 70s and 80s and I wish I had paid more attention then; I still remember those cool jungle print hostess pants you had, and the velvet-and-bangled Miss Connecticut gowns we used to sneak into the hall closet to pet softly.





Thank you for teaching me how to be a great storyteller, using humor, timing, and a flair for the dramatic to make my point. I even find myself doing your silly voices or breaking out in song (much to my husband's dismay, LOL). Listening to other people in meetings "um um um" or trail off without finishing their thought, I am grateful every day that you taught me how to express myself in forthright speech and demeanor. Sometimes we're both a little too big for the room, but I wouldn't have us any other way.



Thanks for everything, Mom. I love you.

P. S. Happy Mother's Day. :)