We were talking on the YLF forum this week about our individual struggles and goals for losing weight (for those of us who are trying to lose right now), and I said: It is much harder to lose ten pounds than it is to lose fifty!
That got me thinking about my (mostly internal) reaction in the past when friends would announce, "I need to lose 10/15/20 pounds!" Looking at them from deep past the 200-pound mark, I would think in reply, "Shut up and eat less!"
I admit, my response was not charitable or encouraging. I never claimed to be the kindest person around, and naturally my jealousy over them being so close to a goal that I knew I would never reach overwhelmed any remaining drops of kindness buried in me. To my credit, I tried not to say it very often, but I did think it.
From where I stood back then, losing ten pounds seemed easy: it was a low number so it wouldn't take as long to reach as a larger loss would, and it wouldn't require as much commitment or rigid adherence to an eating plan. After all, I could drop 5 pounds just by drinking water for a week! Plus, I couldn't understand WHY they needed to lose ten pounds, or any weight at all; they fit into sizes sold in regular stores, they looked healthy and slim, and they were in way better shape than me. All they needed to do stop their whining and eat salad for a week and it would be done.
Like I said, not very charitable.
I hit me yesterday that maybe this attitude was my problem now; I haven't quite believed that to lose these last ten pounds that I needed to work as hard as I did on the first fifty. Unconsciously, I've cut corners and not committed myself, not really following any eating plan at all. A few salads here and there, patting myself on the back for eating a grilled-portobello sandwich instead of a greasy burger and thus conveniently forgetting about the mixed drink and sweet-potato FRENCH FRIES I ate with my "healthy" dinner; in my mixed-up brain, somehow I thought that would be enough to take off these last few "easy" pounds.
Instead, I have gone from needing to lose 2 pounds to needing to lose 10. Or stated another way, I've GAINED eight pounds in this convoluted, half-hearted, stupid attempt to be on a "diet".
I was wrong. I get it now. Losing weight requires the exact same dedication, focus, and commitment no matter how much you need to lose. The last ten is no different than the first ten -- and no, you are not going to get me to believe that the last ten is harder. Maybe there is some truth about our body not wanting to let go of any fat when we are close to goal, but that first ten requires letting go of an enormous amount of denial and emotional baggage, and then a lot of tens after that require deep examination about what we are capable of and our relationships with family, friends, and food. Each ten pounds is hard, in equal measure.
That said, maybe my sarcastic mental advice still has a grain of truth in it. If I want to lose these last ten pounds, I can't half-commit to an eating plan. I have to go all-in, just like I did at the beginning. I need, in the end, to shut up and eat less.
So that's what I'm doing. I'm two weeks in on my 16-week commitment challenge, and I'm finally genuinely committing. I'm delighted that it's beginning to stick again, because that in turn revs up my motivation. Speaking of which, a Medifast friend reminded me last night about one of my first posts on this blog; he said he still turns to it now, to remind himself about motivation or lack thereof. I had forgotten about the post, but when I went back and re-read it, I realized creating my commitment challenge was actually following my own advice; by creating 4 measurable goals and committing to them for 16 weeks, I carved out the path of my dry river, and waited for the water/motivation to return. And now it is.
Shut up and eat less. That's the plan.
IMO, the last pounds are the hardest to lose because your metabolism has dropped and your body probably thinks it's too thin now. It's like walking up a hill that gets steeper and steeper. I'm always freezing now that I'm 95 pounds less than I used to be because my furnace has slowed so much. I was rarely so cold when I was fat. This is why so many people regain. It's damn hard!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to a lot of the things you've mentioned in this excellent post. Yep - I used to kind of scoff at those who "only" had ten pounds to lose. I was like, "Why? You look fine" and so on. Plus, it seemed easy, especially compared to something like 75 or 100 pounds.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I think that the last ten are harder to lose. Leaving aside the potential for a slowed-down metabolism, lower calorie requirements and so on (all physiological stuff), there's also being burned out on trying so hard all the time. I think the real work is trying to get that same motivation we had in the beginning all fired up again. By the time we get close to goal, we've been doing this thing for months, and maybe we just get tired of it? It takes a huge amount of energy, planning and commitment to lose weight in the first place. A lot more than most people might think. So, I think it's understandable that when we get fairly close, we're maybe not as 'good at' it as we once were. In this respect, I think it takes almost a superhuman effort to get the last few pounds off.
That said, I'm up for the challenge now. Are you?
I'm kind of tired of spinning my wheels and just coasting along, 'thinking about' getting serious again. :)
And - we're off to the races.
Kristen, I totally agree. I think part of it is when we only have a "small" amount to lose - be it 5 pounds or 20, something that may make a difference in your dress size but won't substantially affect your frame - we do tend to cut corners. I do for sure unless I'm really committing to a strict plan. I think for now, I need to be strict again until I actually get down to my goal range - which is about 15 pounds away now - and then when I "treat" myself to something, I need to compromise and give up something else instead.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking to your post, Kristen - very motivating!
Kristen - great post - totally true I think. I might add that while it isn't HARDER to lose the last few pounds than the first few pounds it probably is slower for a couple reasons. Briefly if one weights 300 pounds and walks a mile it takes more energy to walk that mile (say 125 calories) where as walking the same mile when you weight 200 might burn 100 calories and at 100 pounds 80 calories would be burned. So doing the exact same activity at a higher weight and a lower weight will result in more calories burnt at a higher weight then the lower weight. As a result you will lose less weight in the same time period at the lower weight assuming calories eaten and activity levels remain constant (not always the case of course). Make sense? So in order to lose the same amount of weight at the lower weight you have to exercise more or eat less OR some combination - or wait longer. There's also the typical water weight loss the first week on a new diet. Best wishes on knocking off the final ten.
ReplyDeleteSara, your post is right on! I lost 83 lbs. & had only 60 lbs. left to lose. Out of the blue, I started over-eating as if I was on a mission! It only took me 4 mos. to gain all of my 83 lbs. back. I have been, not only depressed, but totally confused as to what started my slide downward. It hit me like a sudden bomb blast. I believe what you said in your post has answered my searching question. I got tired of being vigilant about my weight and health. It's sad to think of it that way, but I believe that's what happened. It does take superhuman strength to finish that race, but it will take a lot of strength to keep myself in the right perspective to continue to maintain a healthy eating plan for the rest of my life. At least now I have a perspective that makes sense. Thanks much!
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