The Final Push to Goal: the 16 Week Challenge

For those of you just reading this journal for the first time, I've lost 50-60 pounds since January of this year. I say a range because I've been sliding up and down the scale for a couple of months now, losing at peak 60 pounds. I need to lose a total of 65 to be at goal (I started at 225 at Christmas, which was my highest weight).

Losing these last 10 pounds have been tough. I've tried a lot of different mental adjustments and strategies to keep myself committed and on-track: switching from Medifast to Weight Watchers, starting a fairly steady exercise regimen, taking up C25K running, experimenting with kayaking, joining the town pool for swimming laps, putting myself on a short-lived shopping ban, bringing MF bars with me on vacations, etc. Some of these things have turned into new habits -- the new fun exercises in particular -- but still, the scale has gone up more than it is gone down. At peak last week, I was 12 pounds from goal -- and when I ended Medifast, I was 2. Now, I knew I would gain once I left MF, and I was prepared mentally to deal with that. But I thought it would be instantaneous, a quick big jump up as I re-introduced carbs and real food back into my diet. I wasn't prepared for this roller-coaster up and down and up and up.

And I can't really blame WW or eating real food as the problem here: the problem is my inconsistent commitment. Some days I count points, most days I don't. My days of exercise per week range from 0-7. I haven't even attended WW meetings every week!

I need to put the building blocks back in place, and leave them there; let them settle in and become true habits. It's said in WW that people who attend meetings for 16 weeks have the most success; they are the ones who truly commit to the plan and who lose the weight and usually keep it off. And really, it's creating new habits that gives us our weight-loss success, not what we eat; anyone can starve themselves for a week or two and drop a couple of pounds. A successful loser makes deeper changes to their eating habits. That's what I need to do, again. I managed to create new eating habits on six months of Medifast, and they have still kept me in good stead: I eat small meals through the day, I cut out skim milk and too much sweetener in my coffee in the morning, I never miss breakfast, I don't eat nearly as much starch as I used to, I added exercise as a desired and regular part of my life, etc.

Now I need to create more new habits for this phase. For the next 16 weeks, I hereby commit to:

1. Attend WW meetings every week without skipping any. If I cannot make my Saturday 8am meeting, I will make plans to attend the Thursday night one.

2. Exercise 4 days a week minimum. That 5th day is a mental stumbling block for me; if I can't get it in, I get 'all or nothing' in my thinking and I end up doing NO exercise. Four days per week I can do without any mental games.

3. Count my points in my Tracker. I know from vast experience keeping myself accountable is how I lose weight. Plus, I am anal-retentive and I like using the Tracker. It's so cute and organized! There are ticky boxes! I love ticky boxes!

4. Cut back on the alcohol to 1-2 drinks a week. I like my nightly beer on the porch with Hubby too much; I have to remember I like my size 8 skirts better. *grins*

That's it. I will of course keep going on the good habits I have established, and within the confines of the four commitments above I will continue eating good foods and trying to stay on plan as best I can, but really, the goal here is to build the habits. The weight loss will follow; it won't have a choice.

So in a total Bridget Jones move, here are my current weight stats:

Started at: 225
Today's weight: 167.2
Total loss: 57.8
Weekly loss: -4.4 (Water weight. The losses after this won't be this big again.)

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I want to note this observation while I am talking about all of this, as a reminder for keeping myself motivated if I start to flag: for my body, the difference between 160 and 170 pounds is the difference between looking skinny and looking chubby. As my weight has crept back up around 170, I've been shocked and embarrassed at the way it's changed my shape: my belly is round and flabby and isn't easily held in place with a slim skirt, my extra chin reappeared, my hands look puffy, there's a little extra flab of back fat starting to take shape. I've never really noticed how 10 measly pounds alters me before, but I definitely do not like it. I much, MUCH prefer my body at 160; I feel slender at that weight, and I don't have to waste my time dressing to hide parts of my body. Everything just fits as it should.

I know all of the above sounds incredibly narcissistic and self-obsessed, but honestly it is a revelation to me. I've never noticed these changes in such small increments before; the last time I gained (all the) weight back, I knew I was going up, I immediately hated myself and my body, but I just closed my eyes and ignored it and let it happen. Seeing it, making note of it, coming up with a plan to confront it will, I hope, stop that process in its tracks.

My eyes are wide open this time, and they plan on staying that way.